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" No comedian grows up thinking, 'I hope one day to have a show on CNN.' "

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" I'm happy that I know how to speak 'Southern.' I spent a lot of time in Alabama throughout my life. I even lived there for part of junior high and high school, so I learned the true beauty and mastery of the Southern dialect. 'Y'all' is one of the greatest and most useful words ever invented. "

" I am proud to be black man. "

" I have always had a strange relationship to Portland, Oregon. It's a great city. The people who live there love it openly and loudly, and it regularly appears on the lists of best American cities. But something has always felt weird to me about Portland. And not in the way Portlanders mean 'weird' in their slogan 'Keep Portland weird.' "

" I feel like, as a black guy, I can't not believe in God... I'd wake up in the morning, 'I'm black, and there's no God? I'm going back to sleep.' "

" If I have any talent, I think I have an ability to listen to people and also just meet them on their level. "

" When things aren't going well for black people, they blame the government. When things aren't going well for white people, they can't blame the government because the government is supposed to be for them. So they blame black people. "

" Even if the KKK isn't the outsized presence it once was in this country, many of its principles and ideas are alive and well. "

" The history of Oregon is partially the history of a state that legislated not wanting black people around. "

" If we go the direction that many of the leaders of this country want and close the borders and discourage new immigrants, then we are ruining the possibility of new ideas and new experiences. "

" America loses so much of what defines it if you subtract the Chinese influence. I know this because I spent 12 years living in one of America's most popular tourist destinations: San Francisco. And it would not be one of America's top tourist destinations without Chinatown. "

" The alt-right is working hard to cloak its desire to create chaos in the streets as free speech. They say they want to air their views, but it's about provoking violent reactions. We all can easily see that this is not about free speech. "

" I just want to make TV that I want to see. "

" Comedy can be very deep sometimes. "

" As a black man, I actually had naturally sort of comedic curiosity about the Klan. "

" You can be as exclusive as you want to in your house, but once you walk outside your house, you have to realize that it's not your world anymore: it's all of our world. "

" Since its inception, the government has broken and coerced treaties with hundreds of Native American tribes. And this is even worse when you realize that the native peoples of this land are negotiating for land that is, by all common sense and elementary school logic, their land. "

" Growing up in the Midwest, Boston, and Alabama, I didn't know any Puerto Ricans... at least, I didn't know if I knew any Puerto Ricans. The only Puerto Rican that I had ever even heard of was Juan Epstein, one of the students from the classic 1970s sitcom 'Welcome Back, Kotter.' "

" People in Hollywood can condescend to the way a lot of other people are living. "

" The Olympics are great, but they only truly mean something when the moments that come out of them are bigger than the individual sports. "

" In the deep corner of my heart, I'm a Chicagoan, but it's been covered over by 20 years of living in the Bay Area. "

" What has happened is we've allowed the people who run policies in this country to sort of make us pick Left and the Right as if those are the only two choices. "

" The citizens of Puerto Rico pay taxes with no representation every day, because Puerto Rico is not a state. And the rules only became more confusing the more I looked into them during my time there. "

" We can't throw the worst part of racism into the dustbin of history. "

" The day-to-day discomforts of prison life, combined with the big-picture realities of mass incarceration, do not add up to a party. "

" Shouldn't one of the goals of prison be getting as many of the inmates as possible back out into the world to be responsible citizens? Aren't we just wasting generations of human potential by keeping over two million people behind bars? "

" When Arnold Schwarzenegger was pronouncing it 'Cal-LEE-fornia,' he was right - he just didn't realize he was accidentally speaking Spanish. "

" At worst, spring break in Daytona Beach feels feral - like everybody is trying to re-create scenes from the movie 'The Hangover.' "

" I have an upfront, sort of in-the-trenches knowledge of white people's trying to avoid their whiteness and replace it with something else. When I met my wife, we went through the whole race-slash-ethnicity conversation, and she told me she was Italian. Later on, I find out she's a quarter Italian, at best. "

" As a comedian, you see all parts of the country because you play there. "

" People always want narratives to be clean and easy. "