Get QuoteDark Inspirational Quotes App

" No man wants to settle down. It happens. Eventually you're going to bump into somebody that makes you go, 'Hmm, I don't mind seeing this person every day.' "

Related Quotes:

" I'm never gonna step away from stand-up. I can't. That's what got me where I am, and that's also my muse. That's how I stay level-headed. That's what keeps me going. "

" I've turned down shows offering large amounts of money. "

" I am who I am. That's why my friends and peers respect and appreciate me. I don't change or cater my actions to fit my surroundings. I'm myself 24/7. People appreciate that. "

" I stayed true to my dreams and, eventually, they came true. "

" I've done a great job at being universal in my stand-up, which is why, for 'Let Me Explain,' I toured all over the world. These movies I have coming out - 'Ride Along,' 'Grudge Match,' 'About Last Night,' 'Think Like a Man Too' - are putting me in a position to become universal on an even bigger scale. "

" You don't want to pigeonhole yourself. "

" I'm more of a realist when it comes to life, and I'd much rather my mother be in a spiritual place in Heaven than in a bed, sick, fighting for her life. "

" My daughter doesn't even get my humor. She's like, 'Um, no. I don't get it, Dad. Mmm, no, not that one, Dad.' "

" Some people love so hard that they can't control those emotions when they're at their deepest point. "

" My drive is other people's success. "

" The thing about impressing your girlfriend is that when you do something like a private island in Fiji, it's all downhill from that point. "

" The two things in the world we all share in this world are laughter and pain. We've all got problems. The levels of those problems vary, but we've all got problems. When you can take things that are painful and make them funny, that's a gift - to you and your audience. "

" I'm not going to stop having problems. "

" People don't want drama 365 days a year. I'm a sense of relief; it's my job to take your mind off what's bad for that brief second you're in the room with me, regardless of shape, race, colour or anything. It brings people together, and it makes me feel good about what I'm doing. "

" I know a dramatic role is going to happen, but you just got to be patient, you know? It's going to happen when it's supposed to happen. I'm not rushing it. I'm not trying to make it happen tomorrow. "

" Everybody that's successful lays a blueprint out. "

" I took my daughter to the father-daughter dance, and I cried like a little baby. "

" I've been known to preach. "

" Being humble matters. "

" I love being on stage, I love being able to tell a story, I love the fact that the audience listens and laughs at it. It makes me happy, and it's what I live for. "

" I think if someone gets kicked in the face it is their fault - they watched the foot come towards their face. "

" A lot of blood, sweat, and tears have gone into this career of mine. "

" I promise you, I will have something on the Internet that is game-changing. I can't lose. "

" I don't need therapy. I'm not going to see a therapist; comedy acts as my therapy. I put my problems out there. I talk about them. I talk about everything before anybody has a chance. "

" My mum passing away wasn't funny, but that funeral and what I went through, the things that happened, looking back at it, there were funny moments. You have to be strong enough to look back at it, to sit and assess the situation. "

" I performed in a bowling alley before while people were still bowling. Cut the check, and I will perform anywhere. "

" I got a chance to work with Stallone and De Niro - pretty much sums it up for me. You can tell where you're going in your career by the company you keep. "

" I'm good friends with Jay Leno, good friends with Ed O'Neill, Melanie Fiona and Russell Simmons. "

" Is everything funny? For me, yes. There's a positive to every negative. Even my divorce? For me, yes. If you go back and look at it, why it happened or how it happened, there's something in there that'll make you laugh. "

" People don't want to hear about me having leather walls or gold toilets. "