Get QuoteDark Inspirational Quotes App

" I performed in a bowling alley before while people were still bowling. Cut the check, and I will perform anywhere. "

Related Quotes:

" Everybody that's successful lays a blueprint out. "

" I'm happy about working; I'm happy about gracing the stage and coming out and making people laugh. I never treat it like a job or feel that way. It's the best thing ever to me, and I feel like a kid in a candy store. "

" I'm not going to stop having problems. "

" You might be the funniest guy in the world, but if you don't have anything to talk about, people are eventually going to gravitate towards the guy that's actually saying something. "

" I never do anything that I don't want to do. "

" Stand-up can take you in so many different places, man. So many doors can be opened up from stand-up comedy, and the first one that was opened up for me was acting. "

" I was probably tall as a child, but I just stopped growing. "

" My upbringing was solid because of the people I had around me. "

" Because I'm small, I've been called things from 'Happy Feet' to 'Little Face.' "

" I'm not Russell Crowe. I'm not going to do a period piece. "

" Is everything funny? For me, yes. There's a positive to every negative. Even my divorce? For me, yes. If you go back and look at it, why it happened or how it happened, there's something in there that'll make you laugh. "

" I'm not a good storm-outer... because I forget stuff. "

" A reputation as a hard worker is a good reputation to have. "

Good Reputation

" I love being on stage, I love being able to tell a story, I love the fact that the audience listens and laughs at it. It makes me happy, and it's what I live for. "

" At the end of the day, women are a distraction. Whether you realize it or not. "

" The day you stop doing the small things is the day you think you're above everybody else. "

" I stayed true to my dreams and, eventually, they came true. "

" For me, it's about becoming a mogul, owning my own projects, and establishing myself as a funding producer. That's what's big to me. The movies and all that stuff are great, but the fact that I'm in a position to do what I want to do, however I want to do it and when I want to do it is bigger. "

" I had a great time being a salesman because of the pitches that I gave when I was selling shoes. However, I don't think I'm as well versed in shoes as I am in comedy. Being a salesman was all about being a people person, and I enjoy being around people. I also love talking to people - which is why I think I did so well. "

" My fans saw me get engaged, saw me make that woman my wife, me having kids, me divorcing, me talking about divorce before the divorce, me talking about my kids' reaction to that divorce. "

" When people get married young, you don't really understand the true definition of marriage. "

" I took my daughter to the father-daughter dance, and I cried like a little baby. "

" Barbra Streisand has accomplished so much, and Dustin Hoffman as well. They are down to earth and approachable. I admire that. "

" Believe it or not, I make myself laugh. Sometimes when I have thoughts or say some things that are funny, it just makes me laugh, and I don't mind laughing at it before you guys do. "

" You see some of the weirdest people in Detroit casinos. "

" There was one incident at a movie theater where my girl got mad at these guys who were talking behind us. I never looked back there, but she was like, 'Will you all just shut up!' And I just got up and moved three rows in front. She was like, 'What are you doing?!' I was like, 'You better get up here! I don't play the fighting games.' "

" I got a chance to work with Stallone and De Niro - pretty much sums it up for me. You can tell where you're going in your career by the company you keep. "

" There's no reason why I can't be a mogul. When I step into a room and I'm there to have a conversation, if it pertains to business, I want to be respected as a guy who knows what he's talking about. And that, to me, holds more weight than anything else. "

" I was the guy on the swim team entertaining the bus on the way to the meets. "

" I think sometimes celebrities get so big, they're not reachable. "