Home
Authors
Tags
App
Get QuoteDark Inspirational Quotes App
" Sometimes it's hard to tell if a joke is working or not for the first couple of minutes. "
Dave Attell
Hard
Working
Tell
Related Quotes:
" Once you get offstage you're just like everyone else, and everyone else can get into a fight. "
Dave Attell
Fight
Everyone
Just
" I'm not like a performer type. "
Dave Attell
Performer
Like
Type
" I don't mind a crowd's not laughing; it's the groans that slow down the show. "
Dave Attell
Mind
Show
Slow
" A lot of these kids I think are more content just to be on Facebook and the computer than they are to actually go out. They just really want to get a picture to post to their buddies, and that's about it. "
Dave Attell
Content
Go
More
" I like writing a joke, and I like when a joke works, and I like other comics who tell jokes. "
Dave Attell
Like
Tell
Writing
" I don't think I'm a star or a celebrity or any thing like that. "
Dave Attell
Think
Thing
Like
" I don't watch reality TV. I'm cool. "
Dave Attell
Reality
TV
Reality TV
" Doesn't matter what you say or do; people can always find a way to call you a dick. "
Dave Attell
You
Always
Find
" You know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations. Like when they're both on fire - they're exactly alike. "
Dave Attell
Fire
Like
You
" I never wanted to be famous. "
Dave Attell
Never
Famous
Wanted
" My day jobs... I knew I was bad at those, so I didn't really have the confidence to think that I could do comedy. But I knew I hated the day jobs. "
Dave Attell
Think
Comedy
Bad
" Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people 'the cops.' But you know, sometimes, you've just got no choice; those kids gotta get to school! "
Dave Attell
School
People
Know
" I like doing stand-up and I love putting out TV specials. "
Dave Attell
I Love
TV
Out
" When I was a kid, I really loved Indians. Native Americans. Pardon. Me. "
Dave Attell
Loved
Me
Kid
" I keep getting these people at my shows who only know me from television. I can always tell when they're, like, emotionally flinching when I start doing my jokes. "
Dave Attell
Start
People
Doing
" I have soundtracks for a lot of stuff. "
Dave Attell
Stuff
Lot
Soundtracks
" I'm not a movie guy, I'm not a TV sitcom guy, but whatever seems to fit and is funny is good for me. "
Dave Attell
Good
Guy
Me
" I'm not really a music guy. "
Dave Attell
Guy
Really
Music
" I have no grand scheme. "
Dave Attell
Scheme
Grand
" I'm a stand-up comic. Anything else I do besides that is a plus, but stand-up comedy is what I do, it's what I've been doing and it's what I'm going to keep doing. "
Dave Attell
Going
Keep
Comedy
" Being on the road is kind of lonely. "
Dave Attell
Kind
Road
Being
" I'm a joke comic. I tell jokes. I like writing a joke, and I like when a joke works, and I like other comics who tell jokes. "
Dave Attell
Writing
Joke
Jokes
" For a long time the people at my shows were sort of the Pantera-tattoo trucker guys, really cool dudes, but I don't know what happened to them. That's the crowd that I like, the ones that don't get so offended just to be offended. "
Dave Attell
Cool
Long
Know
" What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. "
Dave Attell
Chicken
Diet
Know
" I don't watch reality TV. "
Dave Attell
Reality TV
TV
Watch
" I feel like soundtrack music is almost like seeing the movie again, but with my ears. "
Dave Attell
Seeing
I Feel Like
Feel
" I have an imagination because my life is so boring that my imagination lets me get off the reality of what's going on. "
Dave Attell
Reality
Me
My Life