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" Sometimes you'll have a heckler who's actually attempting to be supportive, but you don't realize it. Their way of expressing it is kind of confusing. "

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" The one thing you're most reluctant to tell. That's where the comedy is. "

" I just like, when you look at people who have long careers in film, they're able to make films that are far away from themselves, because they're metaphorical. It creates more opportunities, I think. "

" I got out of school in 2000, and I always wanted to be on 'This American Life,' since I first started telling stories. And that, I mean, that show is a little bit of a fortress. It's really hard to get stuff on that show. "

" In terms of comedy, there was a Seinfeldian era of comedy that I love but got played out. Seinfeld was great, but then after him it was people acting like Seinfeld and making observations that we felt like we'd kind of heard before, and then you're seeing Seinfeldian comedy in commercials. Suddenly everything is observational funniness. "

" You don't really see sleepwalking in films that often. It's weird; I feel like in popular culture we have the perception of sitcom, arms-in-front-of-your-body sleepwalking, and then maybe Olive Oil and Popeye when she sleepwalks through the construction site. But it's all very cartoonish, in some cases literally. "

" I feel like everyone wants to make a movie that they feel passionate about watching. "

" You get to the end of something, you're laughing, you're like, 'That's funny, and that's funny,' and then you get to the end, and the credits come down, and you're like, 'That's it?! That's the whole thing?! You had me here for that?!' I just don't want to do that. "

" Essentially, retweets are like laughs. "

" It sounds so nerdy and pathetic, but what I always do on Sunday afternoon is bring my inbox down to zero, which is so sad. But e-mail has become like homework for adults. I'll have 141 messages from people who will be offended if I don't write back. "

" I consider Lena Dunham a comedian. "

" Sometimes I'll go to the grocery store and buy a bunch of groceries as though I knew how to cook, which I don't, and as though I was going to be home for the next six days, which I won't. "

" If you tried to sell Mike Birbiglia as a concept, no one would buy it. "

" Film is so immersive. "

" Shooting a movie isn't good for a sleep disorder. "

" I've found, being in Los Angeles, it's like living in a live-action Planet Hollywood. "

" First time films are hard. Even with some of the greatest directors, you look back at their first film, and you are just going, 'That movie is kind of bad.' "

" Nothing that you want ever is what you think it is. "

" I sometimes think of not doing Twitter or Facebook anymore, but that's how people find their favorite bands and comedians. "

" I am diagnosed with what's called 'REM behavior disorder.' As far as the disorder goes, there's no cure, but it's going pretty well as far as these things go. I see a sleep doctor, take medication, etc. "

" When I met my wife, I was a working comic, so the first week we went out, she saw me perform, and it was very clear what I do. "

" I was completely unqualified to get into Harvard. But then I went to my interview for Harvard, and the woman asked, 'Why do you want to go here?' And I took out all of my comedy writing samples that I had done. I couldn't have been more delusional in terms of what I thought they wanted in a candidate for college. "

" If I dream that I'm directing, it's not a film, it's like a commercial for cotton candy, and I've got four feet of cotton candy all around me that I've got to break through, like a brick wall or a fortress. "

" Every comedian comes to a fork in the road where they have to decide if they're going to make jokes about other people or make jokes about themselves. I chose myself. "

" When I was growing up, I didn't know who Jewish people were, what it was to be Jewish. "

" Jokes are so personal, and they bring us together in so many ways. "

" I love Jimmy Fallon and Jimmy Kimmel. "

" When I was in high school I saw Steven Wright, a brilliant one-liner comedian, and I thought: 'That's what I should do; I should write one-liners.' And I did. My first album is mostly one-liners. "

" The ability to workshop in stand-up comedy is incomparable to any art form, in my opinion. "

" The Comedy Central CDs combined with the TV specials are what led to my stuff being traded and passed around, and a lot more people knowing my jokes than I thought. "

" What I always studied in screenwriting from my mentor John Glavin was that the most interesting characters are characters with shades of gray. "