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" Film is so immersive. "

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" I've found, being in Los Angeles, it's like living in a live-action Planet Hollywood. "

" The economy of film forces you to make choices. "

" You have to be delusional to be a comedian. "

" I was raised Catholic, and then I kind of wandered away somewhere in high-school. I never got confirmed, which is a big deal. "

" It used to be that if you got on 'The Tonight Show,' your career was made. Now, if you're on 'The Tonight Show,' maybe 14 more people show up to your gig in Tulsa. "

" I think serious situations actually make for the best kind of belly laughs. But they're also the hardest to convert into comedy at the outset. "

" If you tried to sell Mike Birbiglia as a concept, no one would buy it. "

" I find my fans are really funny people. Most comedians can't say that about their fans. "

" My last name has the word 'big' in it. It seems like a logical progression that if you shed away the Bir and the lia, I'll just be Big. "

" Directing your first film is like showing up to the field trip in seventh grade, getting on the bus, and making an announcement, 'So today I'm driving the bus.' And everybody's like, 'What?' And you're like, 'I'm gonna drive the bus.' And they're like, 'But you don't know how to drive the bus.' "

" I always try to attack the most honest issues I can in my comedy. "

" I always live tweet 'SNL.' "

" I end up talking about really mundane things with my fans, and then they're kind of like, 'This is boring. I want to go talk to somebody else.' I think I bore my fans to death by over-talking to them. "

" Prose is all about embellishing and describing. "

" I am intimidating no one in America. No one feels like they are below me in any way. They feel like they are absolutely either at or above my level and 100-percent comfortable talking to me. "

" I love Broadway shows. "

" I'm going to end up making twenty films if people let me. "

" I have a following, but it's small. I have this level of fame where people spot me in the airport, consistently, but they always think they're the only one who ever has. People will think they win a prize when they recognize me. "

" I consider Lena Dunham a comedian. "

" When I was in high school I saw Steven Wright, a brilliant one-liner comedian, and I thought: 'That's what I should do; I should write one-liners.' And I did. My first album is mostly one-liners. "

" Once you start writing something obsessively, it's almost like someone has to rip it from your hands in order for you to put it down. "

" I just like, when you look at people who have long careers in film, they're able to make films that are far away from themselves, because they're metaphorical. It creates more opportunities, I think. "

" What I always studied in screenwriting from my mentor John Glavin was that the most interesting characters are characters with shades of gray. "

" Comedy is tragedy plus time, but the time is different for everybody. "

" You don't really see sleepwalking in films that often. It's weird; I feel like in popular culture we have the perception of sitcom, arms-in-front-of-your-body sleepwalking, and then maybe Olive Oil and Popeye when she sleepwalks through the construction site. But it's all very cartoonish, in some cases literally. "

" I think the thing I had to be careful about while writing a book was not to say anything that was revealing about other people that they would be uncomfortable with. I didn't want to make people angry - that's a real risk. "

" Making a film is beyond exciting. It's so exciting, it's exhausting. "

" I'm incapable of feeling any joy. "

" Alienation, I suppose, can't be hackneyed because it will always exist. "

" When you're in high school, you can't even imagine the concept of what the rest of your life even means. "