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" Take care of him. And make him feel important. And if you can do that, you'll have a happy and wonderful marriage. Like two out of every ten couples. "

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" Gee, what a terrific party. Later on we'll get some fluid and embalm each other. "

" You must realize that honorary degrees are given generally to people whose SAT scores were too low to get them into schools the regular way. As a matter of fact, it was my SAT scores that led me into my present vocation in life, comedy. "

" If no one ever took risks, Michaelangelo would have painted the Sistine floor. "

" Sudden money is going from zero to two hundred dollars a week. The rest doesn't count. "

" If you can go through life without experiencing pain you probably haven't been born yet. "

" Nathan Lane always wanted to play Oscar. When he came in the first day, he already knew his lines. He said he'd known them since he was 18. "

" Sports is the only entertainment where, no matter how many times you go back, you never know the ending. "

" Money brings some happiness. But after a certain point, it just brings more money. "

" New York is not Mecca. It just smells like it. "

" I love living. I have some problems with my life, but living is the best thing they've come up with so far. "