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" Teach your kids emotional intelligence. Help them become more evolved than you are. Explain that, for instance, not everyone will like them. "

Pamela Druckerman

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" When I was 41, I had a very bad back pain, and it turned out to be Non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. "

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" I hear people in their 20s describe the 40s as a far-off decade of too-late, when they'll regret things that they haven't done. But for older people I meet, the 40s are the decade that they would most like to travel back to. "

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" My husband is so upset by President Trump's scapegoating of immigrants and Muslims, he refuses to even visit the United States. "

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" It's refreshing to have some time off from wondering whether I look fat. "

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" Just as dressing well in your forties entails making choices that reflect who you are and not just wearing generic basics, looking good as you get older requires accentuating and enjoying what's specific to you rather than striving for cookie-cutter perfection. "

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" Although I wrote a book about infidelity around the world, I ended up concluding that fidelity is quite a good idea. "

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" The French talk about education, the education of their children. They don't talk about raising kids. They talk about education. And that has nothing to do with school. It's this kind of broad description of how you raise children and what you teach them. "

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" When I moved to Europe 12 years ago, my biggest concern was whether I'd ever speak decent French. Practically every American I knew came to visit, many saying they dreamed of living here, too. "

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" Before Donald Trump took office, optimism about his presidency was the lowest of any president-elect since at least the 1970s. "

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" America's parenting customs can shock foreigners. "

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" I'm not an early adopter. I'll only start wearing new styles of clothing once they're practically out of date, and I won't move into a neighborhood until it's fully saturated with upscale coffee shops. "

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" The French view is really one of balance, I think... What French women would tell me over and over is, it's very important that no part of your life - not being a mom, not being a worker, not being a wife - overwhelms the other part. "

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" Parisiennes rarely walk around wearing the giant diamonds that are de rigueur in certain New York neighborhoods. "

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" I spend much of my free time listening to podcasts of American comedians talking to each other. "

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" The question on my husband's birthday is always, What do you get for the man who has nothing? "

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" I spent most of my adolescence feeling awkward but never once mentioned it. "

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" I had applied to become French - or, rather, Franco-American, as I'm now a dual citizen - partly because I could: I'd lived and paid taxes here for long enough. "

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" You know you're in your 40s when you've spent 48 hours trying to think of a word, and that word was 'hemorrhoids.' "

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" The French aren't known for being hilarious. When I told Parisians I was interested in French humor, they'd say 'French what?' "

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" There's this idea in America that you can be whatever you want. That remains an ideal in terms of how you dress too - when you go shopping, you try on all possible selves and then decide. "

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" French schools follow a national curriculum that includes arduous surveys of French philosophy and literature. Frenchmen then spend the rest of their lives quoting Proust to one another, with hardly anyone else catching the references. "

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" In your 40s, you kind of know how things are likely to go, and you're better at saying, 'You know what? That just doesn't suit me...' I remember thinking in my 30s, 'I should go to Burning Man. I could be a Burning Man person.' And in my 40s, I'm like, 'You know what? I'm never going to go to Burning Man.' "

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" When I tell French parents that I know lots of American kids who will eat only pasta or only white rice, they can't believe it. I mean, they can understand how the kid left to his own devices might do that, but they can't imagine that parents would allow that to happen. "

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" The overarching conventional wisdom - what everyone from government experts to my French girlfriends take as articles of faith - is that restrictive diets generally don't make you healthier or slimmer. Instead, it's best to eat a variety of high-quality foods in moderation and pay attention to whether you're hungry. "

Pamela Druckerman

" While I love walking past those beautifully lit bookstores in my neighborhood, what I mostly buy there are blank notebooks and last-minute presents for children's birthdays. "

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" Podcasts immersed me in colloquial English and put me back in the American zeitgeist. "

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" I gradually understood why European mothers aren't in perpetual panic about their work-life balance and don't write books about how executive moms should just try harder: Their governments are helping them - and doing it competently. "

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" I've gotten used to being a foreigner. "

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" The main thing my bookcase says about me is that I'm not French. "

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" When my kids correct my cultural missteps, I sometimes suspect that they're not embarrassed, they're gleeful. "

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