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" The martial music of every sideburned delinquent on the face of the earth. "

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" Whatever else has been said about me personally is unimportant. When I sing, I believe. I'm honest. "

" Rock 'n Roll: The most brutal, ugly, desperate, vicious form of expression it has been my misfortune to hear. "

" A man doesn't know what happiness is until he's married. By then, it's too late. "

" For my money, Tony Bennett is the best singer in the business. He excites me when I watch him. He moves me. He's the singer who gets across what the composer has in mind, and probably a little more. "

" I like intelligent women. When you go out, it shouldn't be a staring contest. "

" Our civilization, such as it is, was shaped by religion, and the men who aspire to public office anyplace in the free world must make obeisance to God or risk immediate opprobrium. "

" Nothing anybody's said or written about me ever bothers me, except when it does. "

" What I do with my life is of my own doing. I live it the best way I can. I've been criticized on many, many occasions, because of - acquaintances, and what have you. "

" I'm supposed to have a Ph.D. on the subject of women. But the truth is I've flunked more often than not. I'm very fond of women; I admire them. But, like all men, I don't understand them. "

" You gotta love livin', baby, 'cause dyin' is a pain in the ass. "

" My father had a piano that was a nickelodeon - put a nickel, and the roller would play. "

" People often remark that I'm pretty lucky. Luck is only important in so far as getting the chance to sell yourself at the right moment. After that, you've got to have talent and know how to use it. "

" Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy. "

" I'm gonna live till I die. "

" There are things about organized religion which I resent. Christ is revered as the Prince of Peace, but more blood has been shed in His name than any other figure in history. You show me one step forward in the name of religion, and I'll show you a hundred retrogressions. "

" I'm like Albert Schweitzer and Bertrand Russell and Albert Einstein in that I have a respect for life - in any form. I believe in nature, in the birds, the sea, the sky, in everything I can see or that there is real evidence for. If these things are what you mean by God, then I believe in God. "

" Cock your hat - angles are attitudes. "

" I'm for whatever gets you through the night. "

" Dare to wear the foolish clown face. "

" I am a thing of beauty. "

" I believe that God knows what each of us wants and needs. It's not necessary for us to make it to church on Sunday to reach Him. You can find Him anyplace. And if that sounds heretical, my source is pretty good: Matthew, Five to Seven, The Sermon on the Mount. "

" The best revenge is massive success. "

" Hell hath no fury like a hustler with a literary agent. "

" I'm trying to figure out, Chairman of what Board? People come up to me and seriously say: 'Well, what are you Chairman of?' And I can't answer them. "

" You treat a lady like a dame, and a dame like a lady. "

" May you live to be 100 and may the last voice you hear be mine. "

" Throughout my career, if I have done anything, I have paid attention to every note and every word I sing - if I respect the song. If I cannot project this to a listener, I fail. "

" I would like to be remembered as a man who had a wonderful time living life, a man who had good friends, fine family - and I don't think I could ask for anything more than that, actually. "

" Oh, I just wish someone would try to hurt you so I could kill them for you. "

" Basically, I'm for anything that gets you through the night - be it prayer, tranquilizers or a bottle of Jack Daniels. "