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" There's nobody who cares more about you than you, and there's nobody better equipped to take care of you than you. "

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" Football is like life and I know life. "

" Who in the world wants to run a country where the new norm is one where there are no jobs? "

" Most liberals I know do not consider themselves to even be liberals. They just think of you and me as conservatives, and that means, therefore, we're odd and we're kooks and maybe extreme and maybe mean. "

" None of the people who wrote Obamacare want anything to do with it. None of the people responsible for Obamacare can afford it. They all want subsidies. None of the people that gave us Obamacare have any desire to actually go to HealthCare.gov and sign up. That's for you and me to have to do. "

" It doesn't benefit me to lie to people. They're eventually going to find out the truth, and then where am I? That's the problem with liberalism and socialism, by the way: it has to be propped up by lies. "

" Styrofoam and plastic milk jugs are biodegradable! Do you know what isn't biodegradable? Paper! "

" Liberalism has consequences. It has never worked, folks! It has never worked. And it has never fulfilled its promise. "

" You know how old I am? I'm so old, I remember when Letterman used to be funny and it was presidents who were serious. That's how old I am. "

" Scandals never stop an administration unless the media wants them to stop an administration, which means that no scandal is ever gonna stop Obama. "

" Obama isn't just too big to fail. He's too big to know. Obama is so vital to the country and to the world, he must be kept out of the loop in order to save him from his failed presidency. "

" What about feeling sorry for those who pay the taxes? Those who are people that no one feels sorry for. They are asked to give and give until they have no more to give. And when they say 'enough,' they are called selfish. "

" Liberals are some of the most arrogant, condescending smart alecks, but they're just pure ignorant, and they fit the bill of people who have no love and no respect for the founding of this country. "

" We've defined decency down now that we look at the entertainment value of it, whether the acting is good, the writing is good, the story is good, no matter the depravity, we'll watch it. "

" Barack Obama happens to be the first African-American, and so criticism of him is and always was gonna be racism, and therefore not permitted. "

" If Romney would go ideological in explaining Obama, it would help. We gotta stop the, 'He's a nice guy' stuff. Nice guys don't do what Obama is doing. Nice guys don't say and do and act the way Obama is saying, doing, and acting. "

" We can take this country back. All we need is to nominate the right candidate. It's no more complicated than that. "

" The law exists for a reason. There is a dominant American culture that people used to want to preserve. That's going by the wayside, too. But if it's now okay for an illegal alien to practice law in California, then can anybody else who's broken the law get a law license? And if not, why not? "

" Human nature fascinates me. "

" There hasn't been anybody else write a Constitution like Madison. There just hasn't been, because that person hasn't existed anywhere but here. "

" So much value has been lost in the housing market that people are now buying. If there's any activity in the housing market, it's because values have plummeted to such depths that the 47% can now afford to live in a government-purchased house, or something like that. "

" I tell you, Bono may have a point. South Africa needs a Walmart. "

" The number of people, the labor force, has shrunk by nine million human beings since Obama took office. "

" I don't think it is deniable: whenever we, I, conservative media, are really interested in something, the mainstream media purposely avoid it. "

" How can people be so stupid? I marvel at that. See, I think you have to work as being ignorant - and if you're gonna work at being ignorant, why not work at being informed? "

" Capitalism is always evaluated against dreams. Utopia is a dream. It doesn't exist. "

" Obama's gonna play Santa Claus with the minimum wage. He's got no successes to brag about. He cannot talk about a robust job market. In fact, the very fact he's talking about the minimum wage is evidence there is no robust job market. "

" The Democrats can engage in the most reprehensible, mean-spirited, vile, vicious verbal attacks known in politics, and they get praised for it. "

" Obamacare is not about improved health care or cheaper insurance or better treatment or insuring the uninsured, and it never has been about that. It's about statism. It's about expanding the government. It's about control over the population. It is about everything but health care. "

" The Democrats cannot find Romney fingerprints on what's happening to this country. Every fingerprint is Barack Obama's, Joe Biden's, Nancy Pelosi's, Harry Reid's, Barney Frank's, you name it, Eric Holder. "

" You could afford your house without the government if it weren't for the government. "