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" They say that women like a man who can make them laugh, and I find that if you can make a woman laugh on the first and second dates, then you're doing well. "

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" To me, writing is remembering something funny that happened, or maybe something I said seven years ago. "

" I was a very good tennis player in Ottawa, Canada - nationally ranked when I was, like, 13. Then I moved to Los Angeles when I was 15, and everyone in L.A. just killed me. I was pretty great in Canada. Not so much in Los Angeles. "

" Well, I was lucky enough to be involved in about 19 failures at an early age, so I'm realistic about the success I'm having and how quickly it can go away. What's important is to be smart about it. "

" I have what I like to call a 'chinneck.' My chin just flows rather easily into my neck. "

" The key to sitcom success is miserable people. If you see a happy couple, it's just gone, like when Sam and Diane got together on Cheers. "

" 'Friends' was a magical thing, and no one's going to ever have anything like that again. "

" There are two sides to being pigeonholed. There's, 'Oh, no, I'm going to be Chandler for the rest of my life,' but there's also the fact that getting to play Chandler opened up doors to me. It's now my job to find things that shake it up a little bit. "

" Chandler's the guy everybody thinks will do well with women, but he thinks too much and says the wrong thing. "

" I loved playing Chandler. I grew up playing that part. "

" I can tell if someone is talking to me because I'm on 'Friends' or cause they just think I'm neat. You know I don't think I've ever spent more than five or ten minutes with somebody who was ogling me because they recognized me from the show. "

" I certainly like the rumour that I was the father of Elizabeth Hurley's baby. It made me think I could impregnate women in a different way to everyone else. Elizabeth and I were never alone in a room together, so I must be a very powerful man indeed. Actually, I'm thinking of suing the baby! "

" I am fine with the fact that some of my hair is gray. If it was all gray overnight, that would be a scary thing. "

" I love the idea of 'the one' but I actually believe that there isn't a Miss Right. There are 12,000 Miss Rights out there and it's all timing. "

" As an actor, being on autopilot is the worst thing possible. "

" I learned a valuable lesson doing 'Mr. Sunshine,' which is that I didn't want to be in charge because it's too much. Being in charge and acting in every scene was just too difficult. It's like eating dinner in a moving golf cart every night. "

" When I was, like, 15, I realized there could be a career in making people laugh - like, you could get paid to do it. That was insane to me. "

" I know Chandler is similar to me. But if you watched my life for a week, there would be many more boring parts. "

" My sense of style is an old Polo shirt, jeans and, unfortunately for the longest time, white running shoes, which was not attractive. The one thing I've learned about clothes is to ask a girl. "

" I gravitate towards sort of broken characters who try to be better people. "

" There was a time when I wasn't working a lot. It ebbs and flows. Mostly I was just living my life and playing 'Fallout 3,' a very fun game. "

" As for my personal life, I'd love to start a family of my own. I think I'd make a great dad, and I think shortly I would make a great husband. "

" I would love to have kids one day. In fact, I'm pretty good with them. I grew up with five half-siblings, the youngest of whom is 11 years younger than me, so I think I learned some pretty cool parenting skills quite early on in life. "

" My favorite six words in recovery are: trust God, clean house, and help others. "

" When I was younger, I used humour as a tool to avoid getting too serious with people - if there was deep emotional stuff going on, then I would crack a joke to defuse the situation. "

" I have a huge interest in hockey because I grew up in Canada, where it's kind of the law that you love hockey. "

" I've certainly had a lot of experiences in my life where I was much too self-centered. "

" Women always think that I'm Chandler, so if I don't joke around for half an hour, they think that something's wrong. Then I explain that I don't have comedy writers scripting everything I'm saying at this particular dinner. "

" There are two ways to go when you hit that crossroads in your life: There is the bad way, when you sort of give up, and then there is the really hard way, when you fight back. I went the hard way and came out of it okay. Now, I'm sitting here and doing great. "

" I think if you look back at all those great comedies on television in the past, it's all lovable losers that gathered together - 'Taxi' and 'Cheers,' 'Seinfeld' and 'Friends.' "

" I would like you all to give me a round of applause as I have not crashed my car in over 15 months. "