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" To say directing was a long-stewing ambition doesn't cover it. If you cut me open, you'd see it. "

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" Leaving a lot of movie sets, I've gone home and said, 'How come my hands are clean?' I should finish something and go home with dirt in my fingernails, because then you really feel that you've done something. "

" Technology, you know. I'm pretty horrible. I use it, but mostly I like to view it from afar. But I'm still fascinated by it. "

" I find there are a few places where I like to meditate more than in other places. There's a little Catholic church that I go to, and there's another temple I go to - there are certain places where I just feel more comfortable. "

" If I didn't do 'Batman,' 'Birdman' wouldn't have happened. "

" I always think that I'm not going to be right for a movie or that there's someone else who can do it better. "

" I didn't go to church all the time, just 'cause I was an antsy kid. "

" My brothers were tremendous shack builders. My shacks were horrible. My brothers once built a two-story shack from the ground up that was awesome! "

" If you get a good comedy once a year, man, that's pretty good. I may be pickier than some, but still, there aren't that many movies that are really, truly, honestly that funny. "

" I don't know how to not be outside since I was a little kid. "

" Chris Guest movies are funny. "

" I'm envious of writers and musicians. I think it must be so difficult. Not just the frustration, but the discipline. "

" I'm the seventh child of George and Leona Douglas, and I don't ever remember a time when my father didn't work two jobs. When my mother was going to the grocery, or going to Mass, or trying to take care of seven kids in a run-down farmhouse. "

" Colbert makes me crazy: he's so funny. Plus, he seems like an extraordinarily decent dude. "

" 'Birdman' has kinda... changed things. I'm not saying you won't see traditionally made movies any more. But I've had meetings with directors, and they've said it makes them rethink everything. You can hate this movie, but you have to talk about it. It's going to go down as one of the most interesting movies ever made. "

" There are certainly producers I hang with and directors I hang with and actors I hang with. "

" I don't know - sometimes I catch myself being dark, and it's annoying. I think, 'Get over it.' I bore myself. But sometimes, like everybody, I'm sure I am obsessive. "

" Actors don't get to be well-known if they're horrible. "

" Westerns were always my favorite things when I was little. And it always bothered me when cowboys were too clean in movies, or when they wore their guns like they had an outfit on. It always worked better when a guy looked sweaty and smelly; I hadda believe, I hadda believe that. "

" I never wanted to play the short game. "

" I've got a statue of St. Francis in my front yard, and I'm not even a practicing Catholic. "

" Unpredictability means what it means. I don't know how you define it. It is what it is. "

" Guys who go on and on about loving women usually don't. "

" I'm getting more and more bored with professional sports, but I still watch. "

" There are very few jobs where you're held up to public scrutiny. "

" Over the years, I think, people - actors, writers, whatever - lose their frame of reference. Their frame of reference is based on somebody else who did this or did that. Performances. So it just becomes a reflection of what already works. Like a warm-up. And that's an invitation to be inauthentic. "

" People, when they talk or write about comedy, they don't really get it. "

" I'm in a business that invites narcissism, self-involvement, and egos being blown out of proportion. "

" I have some tremendous, tremendously loving, generous friends all over the world. "

" There are times when I consciously give the character something physical - a walk, the way he sits, how he talks, or his lack of physicality, which is like a physicality. "

" Unless you're flat out dead, you have to think of some other questions like: what's on the other side? It brings up issues of God, or no God. How does he play into this? Or he, or she, or it? How does it all play into this? "