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" We are so fond on one another because our ailments are the same. "

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" Vision is the art of seeing what is invisible to others. "

" Vanity is a mark of humility rather than of pride. "

" May you live all the days of your life. "

" Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken. "

" Satire is a sort of glass, wherein beholders do generally discover everybody's face but their own. "

" Every dog must have his day. "

" Men are happy to be laughed at for their humor, but not for their folly. "

" A man should never be ashamed to own that he has been in the wrong, which is but saying... that he is wiser today than yesterday. "

" Invention is the talent of youth, as judgment is of age. "

" It is in men as in soils where sometimes there is a vein of gold which the owner knows not. "

" For in reason, all government without the consent of the governed is the very definition of slavery. "

" He was a bold man that first ate an oyster. "

" It is impossible that anything so natural, so necessary, and so universal as death, should ever have been designed by providence as an evil to mankind. "

" A tavern is a place where madness is sold by the bottle. "

" It is the folly of too many to mistake the echo of a London coffee-house for the voice of the kingdom. "

" When a true genius appears, you can know him by this sign: that all the dunces are in a confederacy against him. "

" Most sorts of diversion in men, children and other animals, are in imitation of fighting. "

" I never saw, heard, nor read, that the clergy were beloved in any nation where Christianity was the religion of the country. Nothing can render them popular, but some degree of persecution. "

" Don't set your wit against a child. "

" We have enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another. "

" Principally I hate and detest that animal called man; although I heartily love John, Peter, Thomas, and so forth. "

" Nothing is so hard for those who abound in riches as to conceive how others can be in want. "

" Where there are large powers with little ambition... nature may be said to have fallen short of her purposes. "

" I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing. "

" No wise man ever wished to be younger. "

" A lie does not consist in the indirect position of words, but in the desire and intention, by false speaking, to deceive and injure your neighbour. "

" The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. "

" It is a maxim among these lawyers, that whatever hath been done before, may legally be done again: and therefore they take special care to record all the decisions formerly made against common justice and the general reason of mankind. "

" The proper words in the proper places are the true definition of style. "

" Under this window in stormy weather I marry this man and woman together; Let none but Him who rules the thunder Put this man and woman asunder. "