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" We don't devote enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks. "

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" I know the world isn't fair, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor? "

" From now on, I'll connect the dots my own way. "

" The purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure pure reasoning, and inhibit clarity. With a little practice, writing can be an intimidating and impenetrable fog! "

" So, what's it like in the real world? Well, the food is better, but beyond that, I don't recommend it. "

" Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around. "

" Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous? "

" Letting your mind play is the best way to solve problems. "

" It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept. "

" Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's different. "

" Often it takes some calamity to make us live in the present. Then suddenly we wake up and see all the mistakes we have made. "

" Reality continues to ruin my life. "

" Shutting off the thought process is not rejuvenating; the mind is like a car battery - it recharges by running. "

" I liked things better when I didn't understand them. "

" If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life. "

" Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless. "

" If I had rolled along with the strip's popularity and repeated myself for another five, 10 or 20 years, the people now 'grieving' for 'Calvin and Hobbes' would be wishing me dead. "

" I won't eat any cereal that doesn't turn the milk purple. "

" When birds burp, it must taste like bugs. "

" The world of a comic strip ought to be a special place with its own logic and life... I don't want the issue of Hobbes's reality settled by a doll manufacturer. "

" Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend. "

" We all have different desires and needs, but if we don't discover what we want from ourselves and what we stand for, we will live passively and unfulfilled. "

" If your knees aren't green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously re-examine your life. "

" Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us. "

" If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I'll bet they'd live a lot differently. "