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" When I met people they said, 'You do look like a hobo, but you smell really good.' "

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" For a long time I tried to manage an honesty and openness about my personal life because I'm human and I'm normal - well, semi-normal. "

" It's an odd thing when there is a fan page for my daughter who is not yet 13. "

" I may have a feather duster down my pants. "

" I was the guy who had been bouncing around the film industry for years, and I'd been lucky if five or 10 people would see my movies, so Captain Jack did a big flip for my career. "

" I made odd noises as a child. Just did weird things, like turn off light switches twice. I think my parents thought I had Tourette's syndrome. "

" Everything is just very, very blurry. I've never had proper vision. "

" Captain Jack Sparrow is like a cross between Keith Richards and Pepe Le Pew. "

" When you have children, there is no room for lies, no room for anything but the truth. Anything other than that is a bad example, I believe. "

" What I love to do is paint people's faces, y'know, their eyes. Because you want to find that emotion, see what's going on behind their eyes. "

" France, and the whole of Europe have a great culture and an amazing history. Most important thing though is that people there know how to live! In America they've forgotten all about it. I'm afraid that the American culture is a disaster. "

" Puberty was very vague. I literally locked myself in a room and played guitar. "

" The only gossip I'm interested in is things from the Weekly World News - 'Woman's bra bursts, 11 injured'. That kind of thing. "

" I suppose the only thing at 50 you can really start to look forward to is just total irresponsibility. As you get older, you can just sit in a chair, wear anything you want, you know you can walk down; old people dress cool. You know they wear sweatpants. The elderly have it down. "

" Tomorrow it'll all be over, then I'll have to go back to selling pens again. "

" You start getting hit with some very interesting situations in life - you as a parent - when they approach that teenage area, which is frightening because you still have memories of that age and the things you were doing at that age... Please don't do what I did. "

" I went through various stages in my childhood, as we all do, various stages of obsessions with people and things. And I did. I wanted to be the first white Harlem Globetrotter. "

" At my very core, I'm pretty shy. I just happen to have a weird job. "

" There's an innocence to Ozzy Osbourne. He's mingling, but he's somewhat detached. "

" I'm just an actor, and if I can leave something behind that my kids will be proud of, then that's what I want. I don't want my kids to be embarrassed by anything I've done. "

" It's such a funny thing when you see your daughter transitioning from your baby, your little girl, to suddenly being a young woman. If you're not really looking for it, you can miss it, and Lily-Rose is on that road already, and there's nothing I can do to stop it. "

" The quality of life is so different in France. There is the possibility of living a simple life. I would never contemplate raising my daughter in LA. I would never raise any child there. "

" I still approach a scene as one would approach a solo. There's nothing set or pat. "

" I detest jokes - when somebody tells me one, I feel my IQ dropping; the brain cells start to disappear. But something is funny when the person delivering the line doesn't know it's funny or doesn't treat it as a joke. Maybe it comes from a place of truth, or it's a sort of rage against society. "

" Wes Craven was the guy who gave me my start, from my perspective, for almost no reason in particular. "

" When you're confined to a TV series, and you have to play one character, it can make you insane. But it didn't affect me. I got out in time. "

" The idea of dancing is the only thing that scares me. "

" It's all kinds of these profound things crashing on you when your child arrives into the world. It's like you've met your reason to live. "

" I marketed pens - on the phone. But the beauty of the gig was that you had to call these strangers and say, 'Hi, how ya doing?' You made up a name, like, 'Hey, it's Edward Quartermaine from California. You're eligible to receive this grandfather clock or a trip to Tahiti.' You promise them all these things if they buy a gross of pens. "

" The commercial flight thing, it just gets a little weird when you're standing in line and suddenly you're not just a guy standing in line anymore - you become sort of 'novelty boy.' "

" When I played Tonto in 'The Lone Ranger' and was playing the older Tonto, I would just leave the makeup on and go to sleep because it was a four or five hour job; it was, from the waist up, all over me. "