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" It's such a funny thing when you see your daughter transitioning from your baby, your little girl, to suddenly being a young woman. If you're not really looking for it, you can miss it, and Lily-Rose is on that road already, and there's nothing I can do to stop it. "

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" During the Great Depression, when people laughed their worries disappeared. Audiences loved these funny men. I decided to become one. "

Jerry Stiller

Men

Depression

People

" Most of my show is true; like, 90% of everything I say on stage is true. I just have to find the way to make it funny - that's the difficult thing. "

" You start getting hit with some very interesting situations in life - you as a parent - when they approach that teenage area, which is frightening because you still have memories of that age and the things you were doing at that age... Please don't do what I did. "

" I don't know, maybe Australian humour isn't supposed to be funny. It's as dry as the Sahara, and I think people miss that. "

" A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. "

" When I met people they said, 'You do look like a hobo, but you smell really good.' "

" People will say a movie bombed at the box office but I couldn't care less. "

" I'd rather fight a buzzsaw than dance. "

" The misconception is that standup comics are always on. I don't know any really funny comics that are annoying and constantly trying to be funny all the time. "

" I was angry and frustrated until I started my own family and my first child was born. Until then I didn't really appreciate life the way I should have, but fortunately I woke up. "

" I always believe that funny is serious and serious is funny. You don't really need a distinction between them. "

" Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it. "

Charles Dudley Warner

Anything

Funny

About

" I like having a beard. What's funny is when you shave a beard, you realize how freezing cold your face is! The primary purpose evolution-wise is to keep you warm, to grow hair on your face. You shave it off, and your face is freezing for a few days. "

" Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything! "

" It's funny: your happiness is contingent on a bigger picture besides just yourself. "

Debra Granik

" Be obscure clearly. "

" I don't care whether people say, ''The Office' is rubbish, 'Extras' is worse, 'Flanimals' is a waste of time. He's not funny; he never has been. I hate him.' I don't mind that at all. In fact, not only do I expect it, I celebrate it, because I think the haters are really important. "

" Music is still part of my life, but I hate the idea of people coming to see me play the guitar because they've seen me in movies. You want people who are listening to be only interested in the music. "

Johnny Depp

Life

Music

" Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution? "

" I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong. "

" A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours. "

" Filming is a funny combination of having a good time and not being able to wait until it's over. "

" The 'Billionaire' song is what my kids tease me with. They sing it to me. It's funny. "

" Life is funny. If you don't laugh, you're in trouble. "

" There's only one true superpower amongst human beings, and that is being funny. People treat you differently if you can make them laugh. "

" When you have children, there is no room for lies, no room for anything but the truth. Anything other than that is a bad example, I believe. "

" Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem. "

" The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' but 'That's funny...' "

" I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that's 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says 'go outside.' "

Demetri Martin

Funny

Finish

" I'm doing a film called 'Black Mass' where I play James Bulger. The reason to play him is obvious to me. He's a fascinating character. It's not like anything I've done before on that level. I'm very excited to slide into that skin for a little bit. "