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" When things are going well, I can't write fast enough to keep up with my mind. Writing walks, speech runs and talk flies. Other times, though, it's like fishing. "
Dylan Moran
Speech
Enough
Fishing
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" The characters can't be wittier than people are in real life. They have to be character witty. "
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" I have a very low level of recognition, which is fine by me. "
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" You know, people sometimes say to me, 'Do you prefer to do this or that, act or do stand-up or write' but the thing that I enjoy most is the difference between all of them, because you're always learning. I don't go around thinking of myself as a great anything. I'm actually lucky to have the chance to fail at all of them. "
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" I was lucky in the sense that I was never blessed with an overly reflective nature. "
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" I don't want to do the same thing over and over again. "
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" What is universal can be surprising. Over time you find the kind of stuff which has people thinking 'That is just something that occurred to me... there's something wrong with me', is in fact stuff that is universal. "
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" One thing that's coming up a lot is: are you as grumpy as you appear from this Black Books thing. "
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" I suppose the best comedy shows do have the rock n' roll feeling - if it's a great night, and the roof is raised... yeah, it's a similar feeling, sure. "
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" Showing off seemed to me to be a highly valuable and necessary activity when I was 20. "
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" I draw hundreds and hundreds of pictures of sort of gnarly looking men, so I don't know what that tells you. People who look like... they're waiting for a sandwich that's never going to come. I don't know what's wrong with me. "
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Know
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" Maybe this is just me, but as time goes by, I'm more bewildered by modernity. It gets more unfathomable with every passing year. "
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" I get a phone call once every 18 months from some mad person who wants me to do something for less than no money and they give me about a week's notice. That's my film career, most of the time. "
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Week
Phone
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" Home gigs can be hard because it's an odd collision. More than anything, I feel self-conscious when my family are in the audience. I'm doing this job which is not quite acting - part of it is me, part performance. You're presenting a cartoon of yourself to people who know you as a line-drawing. "
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Family
Me
Job
" I wouldn't be in a huge hurry to go back to Kansas. It was just bizarre. There's a lot of very, very heavy set people who believe in whatever they were told, because they didn't seem to get out very much or be interested in leaving where they were. They just didn't seem that curious, and I find that a little hard to deal with. "
Dylan Moran
Leaving
Back
Believe
" I'm very drawn to Eastern Europe, so I like a Hungarian writer who wrote in French called Emil Cioran; he was always good for giving me such a stir. "
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Giving
Me
Writer
" I'm just trying to understand what's around me as much as anyone else is, really. To draw a bead on a moving target. "
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Moving
Understand
Trying
" I never really had a career, to be honest with you. I never in my life sat down and planned it. I have thought, 'Oh, I'd like to do this,' like anybody would. But I'm not the type that says, 'If I do this, it will lead to that.' "
Dylan Moran
You
Career
Life
" I've been writing since I was very young, even before I was a teenager. As far as I'm concerned, I am a writer - whether my writing's spoken or written in a blog, paper, book or printed on the side of a submarine. "
Dylan Moran
I Am
Young
Writing
" I'm just a guy who happens to work in public from time to time. I've built a reputation as an established comic, not as a celebrity - a celebrity is someone who is famous but doesn't do anything. "
Dylan Moran
Reputation
Famous
Time
" America is this incredible mosaic of immigrants, so people really want to be anchored in some kind of culture as well as the one they are living in. "
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Living
Kind
Culture
" I quite fancy the 1940s. I like the trams and the trousers. "
Dylan Moran
Like
Trousers
Quite
" I think that women just have a primeval instinct to make soup, which they will try to foist on anybody who looks like a likely candidate. "
Dylan Moran
Looks
Women
Will
" Some people have told me that I'm grumpy; it's not something that I'm aware of. It's not like I walk around poking children in the eye... not very small ones, anyway. "
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" If I hadn't done this I might have ended up digging the roads. "
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Might
Roads
Up
" I think a lot of the time you just parody yourself. "
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Just
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" I'd be hard-pressed to think of anybody who's made me laugh, who's funny, but who's also relentlessly positive. "
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Think
" You can't please everyone, nor should you seek to, because then you won't please anyone, least of all yourself. "
Dylan Moran
You
Yourself
Everyone
" The measure of a conversation is how much mutual recognition there is in it; how much shared there is in it. If you're talking about what's in your own head, or without thought to what people looking and listening will feel, you might as well be in a room talking to yourself. "
Dylan Moran
Yourself
Listening
Looking
" I wanted to show off - a simple impulse or drive; in much the same way as some kids wanted to play football, I wanted to show off. Not complicated in that sense, very natural; it just depends on how you want to show off. "
Dylan Moran
Play
Drive
Football
" People will kill you over time, and how they'll kill you is with tiny, harmless phrases, like 'be realistic.' "
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