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" You get to really master the emotion of humility as a Chiefs fan. "

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" I went through puberty late. I was a little, little, tiny kid. I was still growing in college. "

" As a comedian, I'm always quoting 'Caddyshack' and 'Dumb and Dumber.' "

" I always try to stick to the script because I want to respect the writers, and I want to respect the director. But if the director and my fellow actors are okay with me playing with it a little bit, then I definitely want to play with it. "

" When you go out there to do comedy, you feel like you're doing battle with the audience a lot of the time. You're either going to get 'em, or you're not. "

" Whenever I'm given a chance to support veterans' initiatives, I try to do that. Children and veterans - if they're involved, you can pretty much count me in. "

" In high school, I was voted 'Most Humorous' in my senior class. "

" I knew I wanted to try comedy and acting. Even if I failed, at least I would have tried. It's better than never having tried. "

" For the most part, I keep playing big knuckleheads who are like bulls in a china shop. "

" I lived in New York for 10 years; I followed the Rangers. Now I live in L.A. I want to adopt a team. I'm always going to be a Kansas City Chiefs and Royals fan. I want to adopt a team in a new town, so I've adopted the Kings. "

" When the folks at Holiday Inn Express handed me a pancake with my very own face on it, I knew I had finally made it. Then, I grabbed a knife and fork, and tucked into my face. And I'm happy to report: I'm delicious. "

" I never got into the horror genre, and action was fine, but I just loved comedy. Any comedy I could get my hands on, I would. I watched 'Saturday Night Live' religiously. "

" The comedy seeds were planted before the Marine seeds. The thought of comedy never happening was scary. When you have a plan, you never know what will happen. "

" I can't quote stats from another decade. I've got friends that can do that. But I am a huge sports fan. In fact, I enjoy all sports, and when I enjoy a game for five minutes, I'm in it for the whole thing. Plus, I do have some teams I loyally follow. "

" I just love the Corps. I love the brotherhood, the camaraderie. I thank anyone in uniform who serves their fellow man. I love this country for so many reasons. We have such a great country here, and it's worth defending, and it's worth sacrificing for. "

" I remember watching Eddie Murphy's stand-up act when I was little, and just being mesmerized. "

" Just take yourself back to September 2001. As that month went on, and as that autumn unrolled, everybody wanted to do something. How can I help? Do you want my blood? Do you want money for the victims? I was a captain in the Marine Corps. I knew what I could do. I was right there. I was ready. I saw it. I moved the rubble with my own hands. "

" I would love to do something dramatic. I don't know if anybody will ever give me the chance, but I would love to try it. I'm trained in acting and spent many years working on it, so it's just a matter of opportunity. "

" In college, I was a theater and film major at Kansas University. I always had an affinity for comedy. I could probably quote everything from 'Caddyshack,' 'Stripes,' and all those great comedies from the '80s. "

" Guy's guys are of course welcome! But my audience runs the spectrum of humanity. There's something for everyone! "

" I love to play it. I think it's funny. It's always been funny to me. Somebody who's large and in charge but totally wrong-headed. "

" We can't ask the men and women of this country to go do things for us and then, when they get home, forget about them. It's not part of the deal. "

" I have performed for the troops... in Iraq! They loved it! I loved it... It's all good! "

" I've always been cast in authority roles; I think because I have that presence... Comedically, I can play against that pretty well. I enjoy playing that arrogant ignorance. That's one of my favorite games to play in comedy. "

" In the Marine Corps, I was used to people doing what they said and saying what they mean. There was a higher purpose and calling in the Corps. Everyone works toward accomplishing something together, and there's a common goal. In entertainment, the same isn't always true. You're in it for yourself in Hollywood. "

" You never want to just be outrageous for outrageous' sake 'cause then it doesn't work, and it's not believable. You want to be as true to whatever character you're playing. "

" I had just left 'Saturday Night Live' when I came to 'The Daily Show,' and it just felt like Jon was on my side. I'll always be grateful to him for that. I just got the impression he wanted me to succeed, and then I wanted to succeed for him. I think that's good leadership. "

" I like boysenberry. I have no idea what it is. And it sounds like poison - which is terrifying - but you can't hold a name against a flavor. If you did that, everyone would hate Crunchberries. "

" What's my favorite food besides pancakes? I guess it would be flapjacks, followed closely by hotcakes. After that, crepes... but thick crepes. Y'know, like, pancake-thick. "

" I think audiences can relate to the guys I'm playing, those large-and-in-charge idiots. Or maybe I just make them feel better about who they are, or who they're dating. "

" I have a fondness for Georgetown. There's always some place in Georgetown that has a bunch of people that look like they're having fun, watching the game. Go in there, grab a pint. It's the best. "