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" For the most part, I keep playing big knuckleheads who are like bulls in a china shop. "

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" I would love to do something dramatic. I don't know if anybody will ever give me the chance, but I would love to try it. I'm trained in acting and spent many years working on it, so it's just a matter of opportunity. "

" Honestly, I just keep my nose to the grindstone and keep working. At the end of the day, that's usually one of those things that's going to get you ahead. "

" In college, I was a theater and film major at Kansas University. I always had an affinity for comedy. I could probably quote everything from 'Caddyshack,' 'Stripes,' and all those great comedies from the '80s. "

" You get to really master the emotion of humility as a Chiefs fan. "

" I need a coffee, I'm a cold coffee guy. That's how I do. "

" I love to play it. I think it's funny. It's always been funny to me. Somebody who's large and in charge but totally wrong-headed. "

" As a comedian, I'm always quoting 'Caddyshack' and 'Dumb and Dumber.' "

" In high school, I was voted 'Most Humorous' in my senior class. "

" When the folks at Holiday Inn Express handed me a pancake with my very own face on it, I knew I had finally made it. Then, I grabbed a knife and fork, and tucked into my face. And I'm happy to report: I'm delicious. "

" I love improv so much. Listening. I think that's the key. When you improvise, you put a lot of pressure on yourself to create, and to be generating information, and trying to be funny, but if you just listen to what's being said to you, and then react honestly, you generally get better results. "

" In the Marine Corps, I was used to people doing what they said and saying what they mean. There was a higher purpose and calling in the Corps. Everyone works toward accomplishing something together, and there's a common goal. In entertainment, the same isn't always true. You're in it for yourself in Hollywood. "

" I took classes and performed and did improv and sketch and wrote sketches and did lights and sound for other people's shows just so I could be around the theater. That was about seven nights a week for seven years. "

" I had just left 'Saturday Night Live' when I came to 'The Daily Show,' and it just felt like Jon was on my side. I'll always be grateful to him for that. I just got the impression he wanted me to succeed, and then I wanted to succeed for him. I think that's good leadership. "

" I like boysenberry. I have no idea what it is. And it sounds like poison - which is terrifying - but you can't hold a name against a flavor. If you did that, everyone would hate Crunchberries. "

" Honestly, you could beat me, torture me - just don't bore me. "

" I wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed, and I wasn't the biggest, so I got real good at running my mouth and making people laugh and using humor as a way to not get into fights. "

" Eddie Murphy, Bill Murray, Will Ferrell, those guys mean so much to me because I watched those guys and how they transform and watch the commitment to what they do. I admire them. "

" Whenever I'm given a chance to support veterans' initiatives, I try to do that. Children and veterans - if they're involved, you can pretty much count me in. "

" Look, here's the deal: The Chiefs' fate and the Royals' fate, that's my fate. "

" We can't ask the men and women of this country to go do things for us and then, when they get home, forget about them. It's not part of the deal. "

" I can't quote stats from another decade. I've got friends that can do that. But I am a huge sports fan. In fact, I enjoy all sports, and when I enjoy a game for five minutes, I'm in it for the whole thing. Plus, I do have some teams I loyally follow. "

" When you go out there to do comedy, you feel like you're doing battle with the audience a lot of the time. You're either going to get 'em, or you're not. "

" I'm an improviser. I came up doing improv at the U.C.B. Theater in New York for seven years. That's where I started, so improv is what I love. "

" That's a good sign for a movie: When it becomes part of the lexicon and pop culture for an entire generation. I've been in many movies, luckily, that get quoted. "

" I've always been a fan of comedy. I've always enjoyed it. It's something I'm very passionate about; it's like lifeblood to me. I had to pursue it. I thought I had a little bit of talent, and if I could make a living at it, I would do it. It's worked out so far. "

" It's definitely fun to play something you're not, which is always a good time. "

" I have a fondness for Georgetown. There's always some place in Georgetown that has a bunch of people that look like they're having fun, watching the game. Go in there, grab a pint. It's the best. "

" I knew I wanted to try comedy and acting. Even if I failed, at least I would have tried. It's better than never having tried. "

" A lot of people think, 'Oh, you made 'SNL.' You're set. You're good.' No. All there is gigs, and you go from one gig to another. And hopefully you get a good gig, and it lasts for a while, and you get good work and people remember it, and you have good memories of it. "

" When I put on my Marine cover, I'm a Marine, and I act accordingly. "