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" You have to understand how bad I wanted to be a comedian, how much I loved doing it. I still can't believe I get to do this for a living and have people come up and want to see me. "
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" Rich people never go to war. You ask a college kid to go to war, and he's like, 'Umm, I'm taking this sociology class, and I think war is, like, really stupid, and my roommate's, like, half Afghani, so it's going to cause some static.' " Bill Burr