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" My favorite kind of humor is basically, if it was happening to you, it wouldn't be funny, but to observe it, it's hilarious. "
Bill Burr
Observe
Kind
Funny
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" To me, wealth is the peace of mind you have, your family, your friends, your colleagues. Everything else is just money, and it really is funny how people pay so much attention to that. "
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" It's funny what a few no-hitters do for a body. "
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" I started writing when I was 9 years old. I was like this weird kid who would just stay in my room, typing little funny magazines and drawing comic strips. "
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" A lot of people who claim they're political comedians are just comedians who have opinions. But they stop being funny the minute they give their opinions. "
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" The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver. "
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" The misconception is that standup comics are always on. I don't know any really funny comics that are annoying and constantly trying to be funny all the time. "
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" Maybe people don't see me as believable playing a person of today. I guess I'm just more realistic in a corset and funny hairstyles. "
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" It used to be that you had to make female TV characters perfect so no one would be offended by your 'portrayal' of women. Even when I started out on 'The Office' eight years ago, we could write our male characters funny and flawed, but not the women. And now, thankfully, it's completely different. "
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" I like being funny; I like laughing with people. "
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" I'm very, very amateur, which is funny because I'm not in the amateur leagues. "
Shawn Mendes
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" It's funny: I can never sleep between shows; I think it's because I don't like to switch the motor off. I'll probably have some chicken or pasta, though never the two together, and maybe go out for a quick wander around. "
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" Every dogma has its day. "
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" If two wrongs don't make a right, try three. "
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" If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress. "
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" I just want to be myself and be real and be funny. "
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" It is funny to me that because I can run, because I'm athletic, people tend to see that as my only asset. "
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" It's funny; it's a real balancing act. In TV, everybody's talking about authenticity. In order to make 'Dirty Jobs' authentic, I really can't be overly informed. The minute I am, I become a host... It's a very tricky business paying a tribute to work, because TV is very bad at it. "
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" You can't do anything to be funny. That's cringeworthy. If your humor comes out of a place of love every time, you don't make the joke bigger than you. The funniest comedians are in touch with their emotional level. "
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" We know that the nature of genius is to provide idiots with ideas twenty years later. "
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" I think since I was kid people told me that they thought I was funny. "
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" I had the classic 40 meltdown. I did. It's embarrassing. It was pretty funny. But then I recovered. To me, it was like a second adolescence. Hormonally, my body was changing, my mind was changing, and so my relationship to myself and the world around me came to this assault of finiteness. "
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" Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. "
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" Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something. "
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" If you want to be thought a liar, always tell the truth. "
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" Fame is a funny thing. I like doing normal things. I like going to fairs. I like going to ball games. I like going to Disney World or a big field on the Fourth of July and having picnics with friends. The problem is you're either worried you're going to be recognized, or you're thankful you're not. It's always there. "
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" Being a humorist is not a voluntary thing. You can tell this because in a situation where saying a funny thing will cause a lot of trouble, a humorist will still say the funny thing. No matter how inappropriate. "
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