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" You know you're big when you sit in the bathtub and the water in the toilet rises. "

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" Both sides of my family had come from Ireland in the 19th century for the same reason: There was nothing to eat over there. Since then, I've tried to make up for the potato famine by making the potato the only vegetable that passes these lips. "

" The two saddest moments of my life were when my mother died and when I was told I couldn't play football for the Colts anymore. "

" I was 17 pounds when I was born. My mother couldn't walk for three weeks. "

" People tell me if I don't eat vegetables, I'm going to get scurvy. Well, what the hell. But I was never overweight as a player. There was a clause in my contract that said I had to weigh in at 270 every Friday morning. I always made it. I'd have dinner on Monday, and then I wouldn't eat until Friday. "

" I came to my first Colts training camp in July of 1950, and it was murder, absolute murder. We had a coach named Clem Crow who must have been nuts. You got to remember that I'd been a Marine, had gone through basic training and spent 26 months in the Pacific during WWII, but the Marine drill instructors had nothing on Clem. "

" I guess telling stories is an art. I never looked at it that way. I just started talking, and everyone started laughing. So I kept talking, and they kept laughing. "

" I went to college to play football, not to study it. "

" I don't eat vegetables. I only eat food like cheeseburgers, Spam, hot dogs and pizza. "

" I tell people Baltimore is lucky to be rid of the Colts, they're so lousy, but I don't mean it. "

" There's a lady up in heaven who must be very proud of the way the people in Baltimore have treated her boy from the Bronx. "

" Broke my femur on a cruise with my wife in Italy. I'd walked back to my cabin after dinner with half a plate of spaghetti when I leaned in to open the door. Turns out it was already open, so I fell flat on my face like something from the Keystone Kops. "

" I never met a cold cut I didn't like. "

" I have no ax to grind. I was lucky. I played. How many guys play high school, college football never play pro football? "

" I wouldn't want to go back over my life. I've done it all. I wouldn't have wanted to miss the Marine Corps. I wouldn't have wanted to miss the war. I wouldn't have missed college. Or playin' for the Colts. I got all the money I need. Five children. I got a truck. I have no regrets whatsoever. "