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" You spend a much larger part of your life being old, not young. "

Douglas Coupland

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" Everyone should have a tailor. David Wilkes, the guy who does my stuff, is like, 'Well you're a writer - do you want a special pen compartment or something?' Bespoke: That's the term you want to get out there. "

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" When we constantly ask for miracles, we're unraveling the fabric of the world. A world of continuous miracles would not be a world, it would be a cartoon. "

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" Big companies are like marching bands. Even if half the band is playing random notes, it still sounds kind of like music. The concealment of failure is built into them. "

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" If you have an impulse to kindness, act on it. "

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" Characters in a book are very much like personalities divvied up within a family. In the end, it all averages out to a sort of overall averageness. "

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" Before machines the only form of entertainment people really had was relationships. "

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" When you write, it's just a much more crystalline, compressed version of the voice you think with - though not the one you speak with. I think your writing voice is your laser-guided missile. It's the poetry part of you. "

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" Cloning is great. If God made the original, then making copies should be fine. "

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" I've always felt like an alien trapped in a human form. We all do at some time or other; for me it's a permanent state, and I'm still unsure if Earth is a penance or a reward. "

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" I will say that my days are spent solitary and somewhat lost in thought, and every single time I inadvertently wear my shirt inside out in public, I bump into my sister-in-law at the grocery store. "

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" Money isn't money anymore. Time doesn't feel like time anymore. Your sense of community, it's evaporated, too, or it's turned into something you visit at 2 A.M. on a website. "

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" I go to the gym three days a week. You have to or else - I don't want to be the guy that dies shoveling snow. "

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" I think half the people who get married now have met online. If I think about all the people in my life who married - they met online, online, online. And it makes sense if you think about it, because you fill out this form of 35 things that really define you and - bam - look, you've got two people who match. It works. "

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" My question about luging is, How do you get into the luge community to begin with? Is it one day like, 'Mom, Dad, I really want to luge.' And your parents are like: 'O.K., I'll quit my job. We'll move to an Alpine community.' "

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" When I look at my daily schedule, I feel like a trout flopping about on a dock, drowning in the air. Some people are ruthless with their schedules. Not me. I wing it. "

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" In Canada, we're happy to provide a safe haven for next-door neighbors in the middle of a marital dispute. And if anyone trips while crossing the border, we're happy to set their broken bones for free. "

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" If money is not maintained, it can collapse like a bridge along Interstate 5 and fixing it, even with determined politicians, will take ages, during which time God only knows how much human damage will occur. "

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" We are a dreadful species indeed, and deserve whatever it is our techno-baubles do to us. "

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" I don't know if it's a very smart idea to admire the living. "

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" I had a lot of really terrible advice early in my writing career and I cheesed off people without even knowing it, all the while thinking I was implementing good advice. "

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" When future archaeologists dig up the remains of California, they're going to find all of those gyms their scary-looking gym equipment, and they're going to assume that we were a culture obsessed with torture. "

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" If you're not a tree hugger, then you're a what, a tree hater? "

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" Long lives aren't natural. We forget that senior citizens are as much an invention as toasters or penicillin. "

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" I'm a visual thinker. Research tells us that only 20 per cent of people think visually. So what about the other 80 per cent? Don't they think in pictures? I mean if you imagine washing and preparing potatoes you visualise the process, right? "

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" If cats were double the size they are now, they'd probably be illegal. "

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" The future and eternity are two entirely different things. "

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" Much of what we now consider 'personality' will be explained away as structural and chemical functions of the brain. "

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" It's difficult to speak with beautiful people. No matter how hard you try to pretend otherwise, you still want them to like you. "

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" Fondue sets, martini shakers and juicing machines: three things the world could live completely without. "

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" What exactly is it that humans do that is specifically human? There has to be something. How odd it is for billions of people to be alive, yet not one of them is really quite sure of what makes people people. "

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