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" When I look at my daily schedule, I feel like a trout flopping about on a dock, drowning in the air. Some people are ruthless with their schedules. Not me. I wing it. "

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" The Internet has destroyed irony in the world, or at least wounded it considerably. What are we to do about an invention whose end result is that starving people in China are looking up things on marthastewart.com? "

Douglas Coupland

Internet

World

People

" I tend to look for pathologies everywhere. "

" Men won't read any email from a woman that's over 200 words long. "

" Every human being you see in the course of a day has a problem that's sucking up at least 70 percent of his or her radar. "

" You can't fake creativity, competence, or sexual arousal. "

" If our subconscious was attractive, we wouldn't have to bury it down deep within us. "

" We live in an era with no historical precedents. History is no longer useful as a tool in helping us understand current changes. "

" One of the cruelest things you can do to another person is pretend you care about them more than you really do. "

" In our heads we're all about 33 years old. "

" I keep vampire hours, going to bed at 2 A.M. and waking up at about 10:30-11 A.M. "

" As a form of escapism, yearning for the 20th century is understandable, but in practice it would be horrible - sort of like going on a holiday promising yourself you could go without the Internet, only to crumble and walk in a daze to the local Internet cafe to gorge on connectivity. "

" Fondue sets, martini shakers and juicing machines: three things the world could live completely without. "

" Florida isn't so much a place where one goes to reinvent oneself, as it is a place where one goes if one no longer wished to be found. "

" If you write fiction, you have to love your characters. It's like your family. You don't have to like them, but you have to love them. "

" On TV people look at your hair and then they look at your skin, and then they look at your clothes, and by the time they're listening to what you're saying, you're off the screen. "

" Good-looking people with strong, fluoridated teeth get things handed to them on platters. "

" If human beings had genuine courage, they'd wear their costumes every day of the year, not just on Halloween. "

" You pretend to be more eccentric than you actually are because you fear you are an interchangeable cog. "

Douglas Coupland

You

Than

" I think that in the future, clocks won't say three o'clock anymore. They'll just get right to the point and rename three o'clock 'Pepsi.' "

" For many people, myself included, the end of the world is happening all the time! It is a form of criticality that paradoxically gives us hope for change and improvement. "

" Headwise, I always kind of knew that everyone goes grey in our family very early - and I was like, it works for me. I started growing my beard, and it changes the shape of your skull and your face, and I started seeing my mother's side of the family in myself for the first time. "

Douglas Coupland

Face

Family

" I connect fashion to other peoples' elegance, but not my own. I don't think I've ever felt elegant. I've felt appropriate, but never elegant, and I wonder what that must be like. I like it when other people are elegant - I prefer it - but I can't do it myself. I honestly think it's some form of autistic disorder. "

" The reason the future feels odd is because of its unpredictability. If the future didn't feel weirdly unexpected, then something would be wrong. "

" If nothing else, we simply get used to being alive. "

" Ten commandments yet seven deadly sins: conflict? "

" I always thought of words as art supplies. "

" You can't get mad at weather because weather's not about you. Apply that lesson to most other aspects of life. "

" The 1990s felt like the 1990s in a real and good way. "

" Remember travel agents? Remember how they just kind of vanished one day? Well, that's where all the other jobs that once made us middle class are going, to that same magical, class-killing, job-sucking wormhole into which travel agency jobs vanished, never to return. "

" The real killers in the business world aren't the ones who aim for the top, it's the ones who aim for two notches below the top. "