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All Quotes by author - Andy Kaufman
" Any wrestler who will piledrive Lawler and injure him like he did me gets five thousand dollars from me! "
Like
Five
Him
" Clifton and I don't even look alike. He smokes and drinks, and I do neither. He's a big fat guy, and if it weren't for me, no one would know who he is. "
Look
Me
Fat
" Every time my manager approached big network executives or even cable, they told him I was too dangerous. They couldn't trust me. "
Me
Dangerous
Him
" If I play my cards right, I could bring network wrestling back to TV. Unfortunately, to most people, wrestling is a laughingstock. But fortunately, I'm reaching people who otherwise wouldn't watch it. "
Back
Cards
People
" If I was going to be a little boy about it, I'd go into hiding for one or two years. But if I was going to be a man about it, it'd be 20 or 30 years. "
Two
Years
Man
" I just want real reactions. I want people to laugh from the gut, be sad from the gut - or get angry from the gut. "
Sad
Want
Laugh
" I just want the audience to have a wonderful, happy feeling inside them and leave with big smiles on their faces. "
Audience
Happy
Smiles
" I'm an open book. "
Open Book
Book
Open
" I'm from Hollywood. That's where we make movies and TV shows... I'm not from down here in men-fus ten-uh-see, okay? "
Movies
Down
Here
" I'm having everything. I'm a vegetarian, too. But in my mother's house, I eat whatever I'm served. "
Vegetarian
Mother
Whatever
" I'm just singing a song, and if people want to laugh, that's their business. "
Business
Laugh
People
" I never told a joke in my life. "
Never
Life
Joke
" I thought Doodyville was inside of the television. You know, like, if television was this box - and if I went inside the box that was a television, I'd be in Doodyville. "
Know
Inside
You
" It's not that I was crazy. It's just that I was sad at times because the world was sad at times. When I would perform, it wasn't sad anymore. "
Would
Just
Crazy
" I would like to do the Elvis Presley. "
Like
Elvis Presley
Elvis
" My mother sent me to psychiatrists since the age of four because she didn't think little boys should be sad. When my brother was born, I stared out the window for days. Can you imagine that? "
Brother
Mother
Sad
" My parents would say, 'Why don't you go out and play?' and I would say, 'I can't! I'm putting on my shows!' "
Play
Go
Say
" Pure entertainment is not an egotistical lady singing boring songs onstage for two hours and people in tuxes clapping whether they like it or not. It's the real performers on the street who can hold people's attention and keep them from walking away. "
People
Attention
Walking
" Tank you veddy much. "
Tank
Much
You
" The more they hate you, the better you're doing. "
Better
More
You
" There's no drama like wrestling. "
Drama
Like
Wrestling
" There's no way to describe what I do. It's just me. "
Way
Describe
Just
" What's real? What's not? That's what I do in my act, test how other people deal with reality. "
People
Test
Real
" When I perform, it's very personal. I'm sharing things I like, inviting the audience into my room. "
Audience
Like
Personal
" While all the other kids were out playing ball and stuff, I used to stay in my room and imagine that there was a camera in the wall. And I used to really believe that I was putting on a television show and that it was going out to somewhere in the world. "
World
Believe
Camera
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