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" My voice is so high-pitched, only gay dogs can hear it. "

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" I've always considered myself, at the end of the day, to be kind of a storyteller. "

" I realized I was gay in the shower one day with Barbra Streisand. It happened while I was lathering, rinsing, and repeating with Pert Plus. As I was belting out the chorus to my favorite song from 'Funny Girl,' 'Oh my man, I love him so, he'll never know...' it hit me. "

" I had that laser focus, identified what I wanted when I was a kid, and never let anything get in my way. If you look on paper at who I am and what I sound like, and what I look like, you wouldn't say, 'Go into broadcasting.' It's just what I wanted to do - I knew that I could do it, and I never let anyone tell me that I couldn't. "

" I remember watching Regis and Kathie Lee interview celebrities, and my mom looked so happy. I just did the math. I wanted to make my mom happy, and I wanted to talk to celebrities. Basically, I wanted Kathie Lee's job! "

" I actually quite love following Lisa Rinna on Twitter, because she tweets like I tweet, which is like, 'Just dropped off the kids!' Or, 'Hey, here's a great sale at the grocery store!' It's such real life, and to me she's like a celebrity - she looks like Hollywood to me - that following her makes me feel like, stars are just like us! "

" When you struggle with weight, it's not an internal struggle... it's literally an external struggle, and everyone sees it. "

" I got to have about 15 minutes with Michelle Obama, and that was a big deal because you're like, 'Wow, I'm part of living history.' You know? I definitely think she could take me in an arm wrestling match. "

" I grew up in this little farm town, and I've always dreamt of Hollywood and pop culture, and then I suddenly found myself plopped in the middle of it. "

" My DVR, like, sees inside my soul, and inside my soul is a 65-year-old retired woman. So there's Food Network, HGTV and 'Golden Girls' reruns. And 'Roseanne.' "

" Usually, you get to interview that one girl who plays the sister on some Disney show - you interview that girl a lot - but sometimes, every once in a while, you get to interview a legend. I have interviewed some amazingly iconic people, including Michelle Obama, Oprah, Sidney Poitier and Judy Dench. These people are legit icons. "

" I always see celebs in very weird spots. I don't always go to fancy-shmancy places, but I see celebs at coffee shops or random stores, when you're looking for a sweater and turn around like, 'OMG, that's Fred Savage!' "

" When I was growing up I didn't know what it meant to be a happy, successful grown-up gay person, and now I do. I feel like I'm setting an example for people everywhere. "

" People should never apologize for who they are, and they should never hide who they are. Hating yourself is so 2011. "

" My guilty pleasure is elastic-waisted pants. And reruns of shows I've already seen 400 times on TV. "

" There were times I was told, 'You are too gay.' I turned down a lot of things because producers said they wanted me to be different. I said, 'It's not going to happen.' "

" If the powers that be really knew how much time I spent thinking about and researching celebrities, they probably wouldn't let me anywhere near the red carpet. But, please promise not to tell them. I'm harmless, I swear. "

" There are so many funny people and so many talented people, but the one thing nobody else has is my take on the world. So, when I'm developing my show, that's going to be the focus. "

" I'll talk to Howard Stern about anything. I listen to him every day. I love him. When you go on his show, you kind of have to be an open book. "

" I would like to sit down with Oprah, just because I'd like to talk to her. I want to sit down and, like, converse. Like, 'Honey, let's chat!' "

" Not to be too preachy, but I would really recommend to people, if you get the chance, to trust yourselves to leap without a net, because that will build the confidence. You know, you might shock yourself with how much you don't need a net because you can catch yourself. "

" Celebrities know I'm not looking for a 'gotcha' moment. I don't want to be Barbara Walters who you come to when you first check out of rehab. I want to be the person who brings a superfan from Iowa to meet you because we love you. "

" Since I was 8 years old, I wanted to be a talk show host. "

" You're in front of an audience and thinking off the top of your head - you're going to say things that offend people sometimes. Sometimes I'll be driving home, and I'll be like, 'Oh, crap, I shouldn't have said that.' "

" If you want to succeed at any job, make yourself invaluable. Go the extra mile; make them never be able to imagine what life without you there would be like. "

" It's a well-known fact that the TV camera adds 10 pounds. I don't want to say that I've been calling my Jenny Craig consultant a lot, but I'm pretty sure I'm the first spokesperson whom they've considered filing a restraining order against. "

" I take a lot of pride in managing to be funny without having a victim at the end of my joke. I laugh at a really dark joke as much as the next person, but my jokes, I feel, don't have to hurt anybody to be really funny. "

" I learned from my father how to swear right and how to string it together for optimum effect/affect. I use it like karate. I bring it out when it's needed. "

" I'd love to host a game show one day. I love giving things away. "

" I know what it's like to scream when you see Justin Timberlake in person because I've done it. "

" I played football in eighth grade, and even though I had a passion for it, it turned out I'm no good at playing it. "