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" A cupcake is just a muffin with clown puke topping. "

Charlie Brooker

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" I've never lost that freelance mentality. You can't take a holiday because you're worried the work will dry up. "

Charlie Brooker

" Getting a moral lecture from the fashion industry is like Jeffrey Dahmer criticising your diet. "

Charlie Brooker

" We're inseparable, games and I. If you cut me, I'd bleed pixels. Or blood. Probably blood, come to think of it. "

Charlie Brooker

" I can't imagine painting my face in a team colour and roaring with delight as a multi-millionaire kicks a ball at a net. "

Charlie Brooker

" 'The Twilight Zone' was sometimes shockingly cruel, far crueller than most TV drama today would dare to be. "

Charlie Brooker

" It's hard to think of a single human function that technology hasn't somehow altered, apart perhaps from burping. That's pretty much all we have left. "

Charlie Brooker

" Calling Batman 'the Dark Knight' is like calling Papa Smurf 'the Blue Patriarch':you're not fooling anyone. "

Charlie Brooker

" If you're living in a dystopia, you don't necessarily want to look at another one. "

Charlie Brooker

" In the age of social media, everyone's a newspaper columnist, exaggerating what they think and feel. "

Charlie Brooker

" When you're being earnest, people think you're being sarcastic, and when you're being sarcastic, they think you're being earnest. The moral in all this, of course, is that people should never attempt to communicate. "

Charlie Brooker

" What's odd about the selfie stick is that while it might faintly improve the photo you'll post on Facebook, it definitely makes you seem like a shallow, awful clown to any bystanders in the humdrum physical space you're posing in. "

Charlie Brooker

" When a monk takes a vow of silence, is he still allowed to post messages on the Internet? Chances are God won't find out. Being ancient, God probably can't work computers. He holds the mouse gingerly, like it's made of fine china. "

Charlie Brooker

" If someone doesn't respond to a phone call, I think they've died. "

Charlie Brooker

" I haven't always been the kind of man who plays videogames. I used to be the kind of boy who played videogames. "

Charlie Brooker

" Nothing happens in cricket, ever. Even the highlights resemble a freeze frame. "

Charlie Brooker

" Is hacking ever acceptable? It depends on the motive. "

Charlie Brooker

" Short of finding a place on the witness protection programme, you don't get many opportunities to completely reinvent your life. Going to university changes that. Away from home, away from parents, away from anyone who remembers you from school, you can pretend to be far cooler and more experienced than you are. "

Charlie Brooker

" We take miracles for granted on a daily basis. "

Charlie Brooker

" I didn't pass my degree due to never handing in an acceptable dissertation, and while it didn't harm me in the long run, my failure to complete the course properly probably led me to spend the next six years or so coasting, unsure of what to do next. "

Charlie Brooker

" The fashion industry is an immense cultural and social blight that only gets a free pass because its would-be detractors are scared it'll start criticising their haircut. "

Charlie Brooker

" I like technology, but 'Black Mirror' is more what the consequences are, and it doesn't tend to be about technology itself: it tends to be how we use or misuse it. We've not really thought through the consequences of it. "

Charlie Brooker

" Tinder is the ultimate gamification of romance. It's 'Pokemon Go' for the heart. "

Charlie Brooker

" Games get a bad press compared with, say, opera - even though they're obviously better, because no opera has ever compelled an audience member to collect a giant mushroom and jump across some clouds. "

Charlie Brooker

" New Year's resolutions work like this: you think of something you enjoy doing and then resolve to stop doing it. "

Charlie Brooker