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" As a comic, you try something and if it works you go with it and grind it to death. "

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" The journalists have obviously failed to capture my innate magnetism, humour and charisma, and they all need to be fired from their newspapers right away. "

" I think that my ideas of the world are that it's random and cruel but kind of quite comical really, and therefore the humour, in a sense, springs from that. "

" I'm an intellectual. "

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" If you travel to the States... they have a lot of different words than like what we use. For instance: they say 'elevator', we say 'lift'; they say 'drapes', we say 'curtains'; they say 'president', we say 'seriously deranged git.' "

" Dire Straits is a great band. Someone tells you they like 'Brothers in Arms' and immediately you know they're a stupid annoying git. "

" Americans have different ways of saying things. They say 'elevator', we say 'lift'... they say 'President', we say 'stupid psychopathic git. "

" Now, as a comic, if you're vaguely amusing you can go straight into TV, then you play the O2 and then everyone's sick of you. "

" It always seemed to be a constant that my parents were political. "

" People used to think I was just a shouty comic but I was doing stuff about Sartre. "

" I liked 35 and in both my novels that is the age of the lead characters. I tried making them my age but they just seemed to keep moaning about stuff. "

" Recently, my personal advisors have been telling me to go to America. Actually, people have been walking up to me in the street and telling me to sod off, but that's the same thing, isn't it? "

" People aren't universally heroic. "

" If I won the lottery I'd start a charity that helped little family hardware stores, cobblers and fruit shops open in city centres. "

" I wanted to write about how people's beliefs shift. "

" Honestly, sometimes I get really fed up of my subconscious - it's like it's got a mind of its own. "

" I would say I was still a Marxist - which is not to be confused with being a Communist. Despite its flaws, Marxism still seems to explain the material world better than anything else. "

" I am quite girly. "

" If sitcoms were easy to write, there'd be a lot of good ones, and there aren't. "

" I'm distinct, really. "