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" As I see it, there's mainstream comedy - and then there's me, out in the badlands. "

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" Storytelling has always been one of my great pleasures. "

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" I don't have moments of weakness. I'm Rik Mayall. "

" Bring me another bad one, and I shall protect my British people - I brought down Thatcher to protect my people, and I'm bringing down Tony to defend them, and I'll be there for any other dangers that come along. "

" With 1,000-seater venues, rather than 5,000-seaters, there are richer opportunities for sucking the audience in. "

" London audiences are the most challenging around - it's a group of such diverse strangers. "

" With an audience it's now, there are no editors around. It's just me and the audience and it's what I like best. "

" It's difficult for me, to look into eyes of a journalist and trust him to present it as you say. "

" I'm frightened of interviews. "

" I had a very happy childhood, happy teenage years and I was famous by the time I was 22. A charmed life. "

" When you're an experienced celeb - which I am - you sometimes just need a bit of space, when you're not 'on'. I'm always on! "

" I don't want people to know who I am. "

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" Insanity is a very high art form. If everyone was insane, I wouldn't be here! "

" Other people get moody in their forties and fifties - men get the male menopause. I missed the whole thing. I was just really happy. "

" Words on the page don't have the same impact as somebody saying the words to you. "

" I died. Which is fantastic, because I have died already; I have been there and come back. I am completely recovered, thank you. "

" I've always had live audiences. "

" When I was young, I saw some of my heroes doing it on the telly. We're talking about Spike Milligan, Peter Sellers, Arthur Lowe, Ian McKellan, Kenneth Williams. These were all guys telling stories to me. "

" I ought to be groovy and be able to say the enemy is this and the enemy is that... but I've never been very good at... I don't want to have to answer questions I don't know the answer to properly. I have an opinion. "

" I'd love Shakey Bill to tell me a story - I mean, William Shakespeare, he could squeak a nib couldn't he? "