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" Storytelling has always been one of my great pleasures. "

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" With an audience it's now, there are no editors around. It's just me and the audience and it's what I like best. "

" As I see it, there's mainstream comedy - and then there's me, out in the badlands. "

" I ought to be groovy and be able to say the enemy is this and the enemy is that... but I've never been very good at... I don't want to have to answer questions I don't know the answer to properly. I have an opinion. "

" Insanity is a very high art form. If everyone was insane, I wouldn't be here! "

" I'd love Shakey Bill to tell me a story - I mean, William Shakespeare, he could squeak a nib couldn't he? "

" I'm frightened of interviews. "

" I died. Which is fantastic, because I have died already; I have been there and come back. I am completely recovered, thank you. "

" I have always tended toward extremism: I'm Motorhead rather than REO Speedwagon. "

" When you're an experienced celeb - which I am - you sometimes just need a bit of space, when you're not 'on'. I'm always on! "

" I've always had live audiences. "

" It's difficult for me, to look into eyes of a journalist and trust him to present it as you say. "

" I don't have moments of weakness. I'm Rik Mayall. "

" I've always had a problem with doing what I'm told. "

" Bring me another bad one, and I shall protect my British people - I brought down Thatcher to protect my people, and I'm bringing down Tony to defend them, and I'll be there for any other dangers that come along. "

" When I was young, I saw some of my heroes doing it on the telly. We're talking about Spike Milligan, Peter Sellers, Arthur Lowe, Ian McKellan, Kenneth Williams. These were all guys telling stories to me. "

" Words on the page don't have the same impact as somebody saying the words to you. "

" With 1,000-seater venues, rather than 5,000-seaters, there are richer opportunities for sucking the audience in. "

" I would love to do more on the stage; having actual contact with the audience is great. You can give them a good seeing to! "

" Something that has been important to me is never to repeat myself, never to go back. "

" I don't want people to know who I am. "