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" Believe it or not, I have about the same success rate as anyone else. Sometimes you hit, sometimes you miss. "

Seth MacFarlane

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" There was no joke I could make that was too offensive. I can actually remember at least one time where my mother told me something that, I was like, 'whoa!' "

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" I'm big on the importance of science, particularly right now at this point in time when there's sort of a systematic rejection of science by a lot of people in America. "

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" I still do a lot of drawing on a daily basis. "

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" You don't want to be nasty for the sake of being nasty. "

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" I was a big Fred Flintstone fan. "

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" I'm wide open to getting married, but actors are not easy people to date. You end up sharing that person with this other mistress that is their career. I very much like the traditional courtship method of making a date. That's what they do in normal places, but Hollywood's not normal. "

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" If something is shocking without being funny it's hard to justify. "

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" When you are in a room and your job is to write jokes 10 hours a day, your mind starts going to strange places. "

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" I'm sure there are close calls that we're not even aware of hundreds of times a year. You cross the street, and if you'd crossed the street two minutes later, you'd have been hit by a car, but you'd never know it. I'm sure that kind of stuff happens all the time. "

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" I'm bad at golf. "

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" You gotta keep the funny intact. "

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" I was about two years old when I first started drawing recognizable characters. "

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" I cannot tell good art from bad art. I have no eye for it. "

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" Obviously I'm a big fan of 'South Park', but it gets tiring at times when there's so much of it. "

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" If something sticks around long enough that it makes it to seasonal D.V.D. release, I'll watch it. That's how I watched 'The Sopranos'. "

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" I love the English. My God, they brought us 'Benny Hill,' 'Monty Python,' 'The Office,' Neville Chamberlain. "

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" Every year, the Friday before the new Saturday-morning shows would premiere, the networks would do this big preview special, and I was always glued to the TV. As horrible as they were, they were entertaining at the time. There was a lot of showmanship from the networks based around the new lineup. "

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" I did a lot of theater when I was in high school and college. I also did stand-up in college, so it was always part of what I did. "

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" I wrote on a show called Johnny Bravo when I was at Hanna-Barbera. "

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" I'll tell you what I think is not okay. Have you ever seen that show on MSNBC, 'Lockup?' It's a reality show that takes place inside a prison. Do the prisoners have to sign release forms? Or do they have to be on it whether they like it or not? "

Seth MacFarlane

" Denzel Washington has a great sense of humor. He did all those 'Nutty Professor' movies. "

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" I had - I was pretty hell bent on getting into the cartoon business specifically as an artist from the get-go. "

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" There are people on staff who have made that point, that the upside to a second Bush term is that it makes 'American Dad' work better. To me, the price is too high. I would gladly give up the comedy to have a President Kerry. But you work with what you have. "

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" Science has become politicized, and that's an embarrassment. "

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" I can't believe I am hosting the Oscars. It's an honor everyone else said no. "

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" You would not want me on your football team. "

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" I was a huge 'Star Trek' fan. I loved the 'Twilight Zone' growing up. In the future, I hope to create some thoughtful, sci-fi drama. "

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" If a song is funny and absurd, and it sounds great, it's just going to be that much funnier. And there's no better example of that than 'Monty Python.' "

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" The average person has eight different jobs over the course of their lifetime. You get a little antsy doing the same thing. "

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