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" If something is shocking without being funny it's hard to justify. "
Seth MacFarlane
Hard
Being
Being Funny
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" I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. "
Unknown
Drink
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Never
" A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. "
Spike Milligan
Sure
Sit
Funny
" When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. "
George Burns
Funny
Only
Sea
" At the end of the day it's got to be a good movie, it's got to be a funny movie, and it's got to make people think, 'Hey, I couldn't have spent my time any better.' "
Tom Hanks
Think
Good
People
" To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone. "
Reba McEntire
Three
Need
Succeed
" There is nothing funny about a well-adjusted, intelligent person making the right choices. "
Tim Heidecker
Nothing
Choices
Funny
" The avant-garde theater is fun; it is free-swinging, bold, iconoclastic, and often wildly, wildly funny. If you will approach it with childlike innocence - putting your standard responses aside, for they do not apply - if you will approach it on its own terms, I think you will be in for a liberating surprise. "
Edward Albee
Think
Surprise
Innocence
" Even Napoleon had his Watergate. "
Yogi Berra
Funny
His
Watergate
" It's funny how I use social media because I don't use it to promote my restaurants that much. I use it for social issues and I think that's what it's for. I do a few things - I mess around with music a lot because that's a passion of mine. If something strikes me and I want to share it, I do. "
Tom Colicchio
Social Media
Music
Me
" I think that 'Hangover II' is as funny as 'The Hangover I,' honest to God, but I think that it's a little bit darker, and the stakes are a little bit higher. "
Todd Phillips
Funny
God
Higher
" Say what you will about the ten commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them. "
H. L. Mencken
Will
Always
Back
" Being a funny person does an awful lot of things to you. You feel that you mustn't get serious with people. They don't expect it from you, and they don't want to see it. You're not entitled to be serious, you're a clown. "
Fanny Brice
Serious
Clown
Feel
" Is everything funny? For me, yes. There's a positive to every negative. Even my divorce? For me, yes. If you go back and look at it, why it happened or how it happened, there's something in there that'll make you laugh. "
Kevin Hart
Laugh
Funny
Positive
" I have an unfortunate personality. "
Orson Welles
Personality
Unfortunate
Funny
" It's funny; it's a real balancing act. In TV, everybody's talking about authenticity. In order to make 'Dirty Jobs' authentic, I really can't be overly informed. The minute I am, I become a host... It's a very tricky business paying a tribute to work, because TV is very bad at it. "
Mike Rowe
Bad
Business
Funny
" I don't care what the haters and naysayers say. If they make jokes about me, I'll laugh because they'll probably be funny. "
Paula Deen
Funny
Laugh
Haters
" I looked on my stomach and saw Frieda Rebecca, white as flour with the cream that covers new babies, funny little dark squiggles of hair plastered over her head, with big, dark-blue eyes. "
Sylvia Plath
Dark
Hair
Eyes
" Be stupid, be dumb, be funny, if that's who you are. Don't try to be someone that society wants you to be; that's stupid. So be yourself. "
Christina Grimmie
Be Yourself
Yourself
Stupid
" You can't do anything to be funny. That's cringeworthy. If your humor comes out of a place of love every time, you don't make the joke bigger than you. The funniest comedians are in touch with their emotional level. "
John Krasinski
Humor
Funny
Love
" I'm not that good looking. That's why 'Gangnam Style' works. If someone handsome uses that phrase it's just awkward. But if someone like me uses it, it's funny. "
Psy
Me
Funny
Good
" Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. "
Jim Carrey
Eyes
Her
Great
" Every year, the Friday before the new Saturday-morning shows would premiere, the networks would do this big preview special, and I was always glued to the TV. As horrible as they were, they were entertaining at the time. There was a lot of showmanship from the networks based around the new lineup. "
Seth MacFarlane
New
Special
Time
" When you're out of sight for as long as I was, there's a funny feeling of betrayal that comes over people when they see you again. "
Esther Williams
Sight
Feeling
People
" With improv, it's a combination of listening and not trying to be funny. "
Kristen Wiig
Improv
Listening
Trying
" We are supposed to enjoy the good stuff now, while we can, with the people we love. Life has a funny way of teaching us that lesson over and over again. "
Sheena Easton
Life
Good
Funny
" My eyes are different sizes, my nose is too broad at the bridge and squishes up when I laugh, and my lips are sorta funny when I smile. "
Terry Farrell
Smile
Lips
Bridge
" As far as I'm concerned, 'whom' is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler. "
Calvin Trillin
Everyone
Far
Funny
" I saw a stationery store move. "
Jay London
Saw
Store
Move
" If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster. "
Clint Eastwood
Buy
Guarantee
You
" I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again. "
Joan Rivers
Over
Hate
Again