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" Columbo was never comfortable if somebody considered him unique or smart. "

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" I don't like getting up in the morning, getting in a car, driving on a freeway, and stopping at a gate where two guards are standing there, then walk into a studio that looks like a bunch of airplane hangars. "

" Children ran up to me shouting, 'Columbo!' At first, it gave me great pleasure, but later, I said to myself that those children should have had their own heroes instead of admiring a cop from Los Angeles. "

" Sometimes I was in school plays, but only when the kid they'd originally picked got sick and they asked me to substitute. "

" I was a street-guy villain. I was a street-corner villain. I was an illiterate villain. All rough edges. "

" Along came a police lieutenant named Columbo, and my life would never be the same. "

" I'm not an ace at small talk. "

" There were no artists in Ossining, which was the home of Sing Sing prison. Most of the parents of the guys I knew were guards there. "

" I came to Hollywood and nobody knew me. I was on a coupla TV shows. "

" The celebrity craze is a little much. But it's good for me, so you don't bite the hand that feeds you. "

" I never understood a word John Cassavetes said. And I think he did that deliberately. "

" I wanted to become an actor, but I didn't want to admit it. "

" I'm secretly very stuffy. "

" It became the joke of the neighbourhood. If the umpire ruled me out on a bad call, I'd take the fake eye out and hand it to him. "

" There isn't an Eskimo who doesn't love 'Columbo.' "

" I am older than everyone I ever knew. All my dogs are dead. Half a dozen cats, parakeets... all gone. "

" I think people identify with Columbo because he is an average man. "

" If it wasn't for the Mark Twain Masquers, I don't know where my life would have gone. "

" I've never worried about the grand concepts. "

" Sure, I miss some things about the stage. The thing I like is the immediacy. But then I complain, 'I gotta do the same part for six months.' "

" I used to take girls out on a date to Night Court. And I'll tell you, most girls, they got a kick out of going to Night Court. 'Cause you get a lot of laughs... and it's cheap. "

" When I go see a basketball game, I'm always in the front row. I always have a table at a restaurant; I never have trouble getting a taxi. "

" Everybody wants to be a movie star. I bet if you ask that guy would he like to be a movie star, he'd say, 'Sure.' "

" I never turned a part down when they offered me money. "

" You talk about what a director, he was smart. He said, Turn the camera on! "

" I've worked with some terrific actors. The list of guys that came on the 'Columbo' show, I mean they were world-class actors from all over the world - Oskar Werner, Laurence Harvey, Donald Pleasence, you know... foreigners. "

" I remember being amazed that actors had a union. I thought only coal miners had unions, or guys that worked in automobile plants. That's an indication of how naive I was. "

" I've been there a thousand years, and I never felt comfortable. Beverly Hills - when I first saw it, I thought they put it up this morning. You got to pack water to get to the drugstore. "

" Oh, I was some efficiency expert. On my first day, I couldn't find my own office in Hartford and wound up in the Post Office. "

" The first time I ever spoke to John Cassavetes was at a Lakers game. I got up to go for a hot dog, and he was coming in the opposite direction. I don't know who said hello first, but we started talking, and it turned out that he went to high school with my first wife, Alice. "

" I like stories that grow, that have unpredictable layers. As opposed to Hollywood movies that start out with a lot of shock and noise and peter out into an unconvincing cliche. "