Get QuoteDark Inspirational Quotes App

" Diana Ross saw me on Merv Griffin and hired me to be her opening act. "

Related Quotes:

" Unlike 'Deal or No Deal,' which is for the entire family, my standup is not for the entire family. "

" You release these things, and if they fly then you have more. "

" My childlike qualities sometimes lead me to jump into projects without thinking of the consequences. "

" I have thoughts - obtrusive thoughts and rituals that have to - it's like a broken re - a skipping record. And if these thoughts or these triggers happen to me through maybe shaking a hand or just a thought or just - then I can't get past it and move on with my life. "

" I think being a dad is scary. I mean, I'm not that grown-up myself. "

" Everything runs its course. We had told a lot of stories that happened in our life. My kid was getting older, and we were running out of stories to tell. "

" The success of any stand-up act comes out of life experience. "

" I know intellectually that if I shake somebody's hand that I'm not going to get sick and die. "

" I'm a huge fan of mine. I go to just about every show I do. "

" I love voice-acting - I can go to work without wearing pants. Although I did wear pants during Gremlins. But it's always more comfortable to work without. And if you notice, I relate to Gizmo in that way because he also works without pants. I have furry little legs, too. "

" Regardless of what I do, whether I write a book or whether I act or whether I host, I'll always do stand-up comedy because those moments, that's what I crave. If I do something funny, and I hear a crowd laugh in that moment, we're all sharing the exact same experience and the exact same feeling. "

" I'm from Canada, so Thanksgiving to me is just Thursday with more food. And I'm thankful for that. "

" Some version of 'Deal or No Deal' airs in 120 countries. And they play it exactly the same way, with models and briefcases. It crosses language and culture and gender, because it's the simplest game in the world, and everyone wants to press their luck. "

" One of the great pleasures of having children is spending one-on-one time with them. Sadly, I could do that for only a few minutes at a time. I'd never say that ADD/ADHD is a gift or a blessing. And if someone says it is a gift, I'd love to return it. "

" What is the luck of the draw that me - me - who finally writes a book, it comes out in the - in the - in the time, in the center of the first pandemic, H1N1? And I'm going out on signings, and I'm going out to the public. This is the one time when I need to be hermetically sealed. "

" Part of my humor is the fact that I love coming out of left field. I don't want people to expect what is going to happen next. "

" I've spent more time in Las Vegas than any other city, almost including L.A. where I live. "

" Standup keeps me grounded and keeps me in touch. I get to go from small towns to big cities, across Canada and the U.S., and you're out there and talking to people. You get a sense of what they respond to. "

" The doctor heard my heartbeat and found out I had an irregular heartbeat. I was not symptomatic or aware of my symptoms. I had no idea that this could make me five times more likely to have a stroke than somebody who doesn't have this. "

" Stand-up comedy is a sickness. Who wouldn't want a room full of people laughing and screaming at you just because of who you are? Nothing is as good, except maybe having a baby. "

" I think the solution to making this world better is if we would just be healthy, mentally. "

" What are the two biggest things online? Selfies and emojis. We're combining them. Instead of sending some character that means nothing with a hat - what if it was your face doing something? Me-moji. "

" My wife doesn't cook, so we eat out every night. It's not fine dining or anything - we're not fancy people. "

" I go to therapy a lot. And I'm - I'm open about that, and I try to get the help so that I - so that I can cope and - and make my way in life and with my family. "

" I am beloved by millions. "

" I'm always on the verge of death in my head. "

" I once missed an appointment because I left my house, I locked the door. And then I thought, like anybody else, you know, 'I don't think I locked the door.' I just kept going back to the door. And I couldn't stop myself from checking and checking. "

" You can go home with a lot of money with absolutely no skill. "

" I was kind of a misfit, actually. When you're young, you want to be like everybody else, and I was like nobody else. I couldn't sit still. I was impulsive. I still am. What is now called a 'talent' did not serve me well as a child. I didn't have friends. I was really an outcast. "

" We were a very small circle of writers. Everybody brought to the table their own life experience. "