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" I think being a dad is scary. I mean, I'm not that grown-up myself. "

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" I have an insatiable desire to be the center of attention. "

" I was always incredibly obsessed with germs and cleaning and taking shower after shower after shower. Even when I was very young, I wouldn't tie my shoelaces because they had touched the ground. I had continuous repetitive thoughts that I couldn't get past. As a child, my mind was a lot busier than I was. "

" The biggest void that people can have in their lives is a sense of humor. Spending your life with someone who doesn't have that wouldn't be palatable. "

" Diana Ross saw me on Merv Griffin and hired me to be her opening act. "

" I'm a huge fan of mine. I go to just about every show I do. "

" I have thoughts - obtrusive thoughts and rituals that have to - it's like a broken re - a skipping record. And if these thoughts or these triggers happen to me through maybe shaking a hand or just a thought or just - then I can't get past it and move on with my life. "

" The doctor heard my heartbeat and found out I had an irregular heartbeat. I was not symptomatic or aware of my symptoms. I had no idea that this could make me five times more likely to have a stroke than somebody who doesn't have this. "

" I'm always in a hotel room, and I spend a good portion of my day setting it up so it's comfortable for me. Whether that means making paths out of towels so I don't touch the carpet or removing the comforters or just not touching things. Even sitting on a plane with a bunch of other people - it's really hard for me. "

" I think the thrust of any child is to try to fit in and be part of it. And I can't tell you how many times my humor, you know, what I thought was humor ended up making me the outsider. Like I'd be, I go, 'It's a joke.' And they'd go, 'Well, what was funny?' And they just thought I was insane. "

" After I impulsively revealed that I have OCD on a talk show, I was devastated. I often do things without thinking. That's my ADD/ADHD talking. Out in public, after I did the show, people came to me and said, 'Me, too.' They were the most comforting words I've ever heard. "

" In the mid-1970s, there was this huge boom of stand-up comedy throughout North America. I went to see a show at a club called Yuk-Yuks, in Toronto, and I was just fascinated. I ended up coming back for amateur hour on a Monday at midnight and got up there without any thought as to what might come of it. "

" I'm always on the verge of death in my head. "

" I once missed an appointment because I left my house, I locked the door. And then I thought, like anybody else, you know, 'I don't think I locked the door.' I just kept going back to the door. And I couldn't stop myself from checking and checking. "

" My childlike qualities sometimes lead me to jump into projects without thinking of the consequences. "

" What is the luck of the draw that me - me - who finally writes a book, it comes out in the - in the - in the time, in the center of the first pandemic, H1N1? And I'm going out on signings, and I'm going out to the public. This is the one time when I need to be hermetically sealed. "

" There isn't anybody out there who doesn't have a mental health issue, whether it's depression, anxiety, or how to cope with relationships. Having OCD is not an embarrassment anymore - for me. Just know that there is help and your life could be better if you go out and seek the help. "

" One of the great pleasures of having children is spending one-on-one time with them. Sadly, I could do that for only a few minutes at a time. I'd never say that ADD/ADHD is a gift or a blessing. And if someone says it is a gift, I'd love to return it. "

" I once called construction companies to bid on an addition to the school library so that there would suddenly be people outside, measuring the building. 'Who authorized this?' the principal would ask. The answer: 'Howie Mandel.' "

" Stand-up comedy is a sickness. Who wouldn't want a room full of people laughing and screaming at you just because of who you are? Nothing is as good, except maybe having a baby. "

" I have to be the only person in America who had a doctor say to him, 'Please don't put any more surgical gloves on your head and inflate them.' "

" I was diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADD/ADHD) and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) as an adult, but I don't remember a time when I didn't have them. Back in the 1960s, when I was growing up, my symptoms didn't have a name, and you didn't go to the doctor to find out. "

" Unlike 'Deal or No Deal,' which is for the entire family, my standup is not for the entire family. "

" My point of reference is life, in everything that I do. "

" I am beloved by millions. "

" If you come to any of my live shows, you'll see, it's very frenetic. I have the attention span of a gnat. "

" My wife doesn't cook, so we eat out every night. It's not fine dining or anything - we're not fancy people. "

" We were a very small circle of writers. Everybody brought to the table their own life experience. "

" The success of any stand-up act comes out of life experience. "

" I've been chased. I've been pushed. I've been screamed at. I've been verbally abused. I've been afraid for my safety. But I did it all in the name of entertainment. "

" I may be more passionate about my comedy because that's the one place where I feel comfortable - because I'm in the now. Performing is the only time of the day when I have to really force every ounce of concentration into whatever's happening in that moment. "