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" Don't believe in miracles - depend on them. "
Laurence J. Peter
Them
Believe
Miracles
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" Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent. "
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" Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence. "
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" Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away. "
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Girl
" Make three correct guesses consecutively and you will establish a reputation as an expert. "
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" Bureaucracy defends the status quo long past the time when the quo has lost its status. "
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" Committees have become so important nowadays that subcommittees have to be appointed to do the work. "
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Nowadays
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" Against logic there is no armor like ignorance. "
Laurence J. Peter
Like
Against
Armor
" A man convinced against his will is not convinced. "
Laurence J. Peter
His
Convinced
Will
" An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today. "
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" Democracy is a process by which people are free to choose the man who will get the blame. "
Laurence J. Peter
Process
Blame
Democracy
" Speak when you are angry - and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret. "
Laurence J. Peter
Angry
Best
You
" Slump, and the world slumps with you. Push, and you push alone. "
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You
Alone
World
" Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder. "
Laurence J. Peter
Contact
Like
Beauty
" In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence. "
Laurence J. Peter
Employee
Rise
Incompetence
" A censor is an expert in cutting remarks. A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to. "
Laurence J. Peter
Man
Expert
You
" A pessimist is a man who looks both ways when he crosses the street. "
Laurence J. Peter
Looks
He
Street
" Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings. "
Laurence J. Peter
Correct
Faults
Our
" It's better to have loved and lost than to have to do forty pounds of laundry a week. "
Laurence J. Peter
Better
Loved
Lost
" Fortune knocks but once, but misfortune has much more patience. "
Laurence J. Peter
Misfortune
Fortune
Patience
" Lead, follow, or get out of the way. "
Laurence J. Peter
Way
Out
Get
" Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices. "
Laurence J. Peter
Method
Higher
Grade
" The seaman tells stories of winds, the ploughman of bulls; the soldier details his wounds, the shepherd his sheep. "
Laurence J. Peter
Details
Sheep
Shepherd
" Going to church doesn't make you any more a Christian than going to the garage makes you a car. "
Laurence J. Peter
Car
Church
Christian
" When in doubt or danger, run in circles, scream and shout. "
Laurence J. Peter
Doubt
Run
Danger
" There are two kinds of egotists: Those who admit it, and the rest of us. "
Laurence J. Peter
Kinds
Admit
Rest
" America is a country that doesn't know where it is going but is determined to set a speed record getting there. "
Laurence J. Peter
Speed
Going
Know
" America is a land of taxation that was founded to avoid taxation. "
Laurence J. Peter
Avoid
Land
America
" If you don't know where you're going, you will probably end up somewhere else. "
Laurence J. Peter
End
You
Somewhere
" Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell, and advertise. "
Laurence J. Peter
Work
Rise
Like
" Everyone rises to their level of incompetence. "
Laurence J. Peter
Rises
Level
Incompetence