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" There are two kinds of egotists: Those who admit it, and the rest of us. "
Laurence J. Peter
Kinds
Admit
Rest
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" Fortune knocks but once, but misfortune has much more patience. "
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" Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it. "
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" An intelligence test sometimes shows a man how smart he would have been not to have taken it. "
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" If you don't know where you're going, you will probably end up somewhere else. "
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" Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices. "
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" Make three correct guesses consecutively and you will establish a reputation as an expert. "
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" Nobody can be perfect unless he admits his faults, but if he has faults how can he be perfect? "
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" It's better to have loved and lost than to have to do forty pounds of laundry a week. "
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" If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk? "
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" As a matter of fact is an expression that precedes many an expression that isn't. "
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" Committees have become so important nowadays that subcommittees have to be appointed to do the work. "
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" Don't believe in miracles - depend on them. "
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" When in doubt or danger, run in circles, scream and shout. "
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" Going to church doesn't make you any more a Christian than going to the garage makes you a car. "
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" Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away. "
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" Heredity is what sets the parents of a teenager wondering about each other. "
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" Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder. "
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" A pessimist is a man who looks both ways when he crosses the street. "
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" Bureaucracy defends the status quo long past the time when the quo has lost its status. "
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" A censor is an expert in cutting remarks. A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to. "
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" The best intelligence test is what we do with our leisure. "
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" Some problems are so complex that you have to be highly intelligent and well informed just to be undecided about them. "
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" Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings. "
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" Expert: a man who makes three correct guesses consecutively. "
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Correct
Three
Man
" The great question is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with failure. "
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" America is a country that doesn't know where it is going but is determined to set a speed record getting there. "
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" In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence. "
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" You can always tell a real friend: when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job. "
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" Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell, and advertise. "
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