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" If God drives a car, He'd drive a 1973 Ford LTD Brougham sedan with a claret-colored vinyl roof, with oxblood leather upholstery and an opera window. "

Douglas Coupland

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" In Canada, we're happy to provide a safe haven for next-door neighbors in the middle of a marital dispute. And if anyone trips while crossing the border, we're happy to set their broken bones for free. "

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" In my mind, I've always checked out in 2037; that's always been my expiration date. I'll be 75. "

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" You're smarter than TV. So what? "

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" The time you feel lonely is the time you most need to be by yourself. "

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" A ring is a halo on your finger. "

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" I think as a species we're not designed to be able to think more than one year into the future - if that. Even trying to imagine one year from now makes most people feel like they've been given a huge boring chunk of homework that's too hard to do. "

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" Ten commandments yet seven deadly sins: conflict? "

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" I've become a day writer: most people start as night writers, and I used to be, but something happened to my endocrine system. I do miss the 3 A.M. writing jags. "

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" Most time capsules, when they're unearthed, are really awful. There's nothing good in them. "

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" The person who needs the other person the least in a relationship is the stronger member. "

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" Once you establish a look, and once everybody recognizes that look as your look, you never have to think about fashion again. "

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" Cellphones have, if nothing else, turned TV crime writers into lazy sloths. "

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" Books arrive in my head all at once, and then it becomes an 18-month process of getting it all down on paper. "

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" Make your goals big and broad enough so that they never become answered prayers and boomerang to curse you. "

Douglas Coupland

" If you don't change, then what's the point of anything happening to you? "

Douglas Coupland

" We want our idols to be dead because it makes death a much less scary place. "

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" It's sort of a law of the art world: The stuff that grows in importance is only the stuff you bought because it wowed you. "

Douglas Coupland

" If I think too much about all of those Chinese factories where all the stuff in a Wal-Mart is made, I get that woozy feeling you get when you see ducks covered in crude oil. "

Douglas Coupland

" It's fun to sentimentalize the 20th-century lifestyle and the 20th-century brain, but it helps nobody, it makes you look ancient, there's no going back, and you'd be miserable if you did. "

Douglas Coupland

" I miss my pre-Internet brain, but that doesn't help anything. We can only go forward. "

Douglas Coupland

" Never loan a book to someone if you expect to get it back. Loaning books is the same as giving them away. "

Douglas Coupland

" I think that in the future, clocks won't say three o'clock anymore. They'll just get right to the point and rename three o'clock 'Pepsi.' "

Douglas Coupland

" I like being surrounded by good ideas. Every single time you walk past something you like, you get a blast of happy chemicals to the brain, and I like that. "

Douglas Coupland

" Try not thinking of peeling an orange. Try not imagining the juice running down your fingers, the soft inner part of the peel. The smell. Try and you can't. The brain doesn't process negatives. "

Douglas Coupland

" I've got 911 on speed dial. "

Douglas Coupland

" When future archaeologists dig up the remains of California, they're going to find all of those gyms their scary-looking gym equipment, and they're going to assume that we were a culture obsessed with torture. "

Douglas Coupland

" It's weird when people start sentences with 'frankly' - as if their other sentences don't count. "

Douglas Coupland

" I want pills called September 10. You take one and your mind feels like the 11th never happened. "

Douglas Coupland

" Your body isn't just a body. It's an ecosystem. "

Douglas Coupland

" The real killers in the business world aren't the ones who aim for the top, it's the ones who aim for two notches below the top. "

Douglas Coupland