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" Show me a frigid women and, nine times out of ten, I'll show you a little man. "
Julie Burchill
Women
Show
Me
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" When a man wants to relax, he will slob out and really relax. Or he will pursue a hobby - anything from building models to watching sport. "
Julie Burchill
Relax
Building
Hobby
" Surely being a Professional Beauty - let alone an ageing one - is one of the most insecure and doomed careers imaginable. "
Julie Burchill
Being
Alone
Professional
" Tears are sometimes an inappropriate response to death. When a life has been lived completely honestly, completely successfully, or just completely, the correct response to death's perfect punctuation mark is a smile. "
Julie Burchill
Life
Death
Smile
" Rachel Cusk's books are like pop-up volumes for grown-ups, the prose springing out of the page to bop you neatly between the eyes with its insights. "
Julie Burchill
Out
Eyes
Books
" When I moved out of London 13 years ago, I found a whole other reason not to drive. This was because my new husband Dan, unlike my dad, did drive, and this became a great source of fun and adventure. "
Julie Burchill
Drive
Fun
Great
" As a kid, I grew to define what I didn't want my life to be like by sitting behind moaning women on the bus, hearing them bang on about their aches and pains, both real and imagined. "
Julie Burchill
My Life
Kid
Life
" One of the few ways in which I feel I've actually matured is that as I've grown older I do find the concept of 'men' mystifying, whereas when I was a feisty young thing I was forever saying 'The most fun part of being a feminist is frightening men!' "
Julie Burchill
Saying
Young
Fun
" I've always thought of beauty therapy, 'alternative' treatments and the like as the female equivalent of brothels - for essentially self-deceiving people who feel a bit hollow and have to pay to be touched. "
Julie Burchill
People
Thought
Always
" It's very hard to imagine the phrase 'consumer society' used so cheerfully, and interpreted so enthusiastically, in England. "
Julie Burchill
Used
Imagine
Hard
" As I have got older, I have found myself making friends with the ease and swiftness that other people pick up fuzzballs on their jumpers. And I believe it is probably my lack of longing for 'The One' that makes me so popular. "
Julie Burchill
People
Myself
Me
" Covering up, so far as I can see, is often the accompaniment to far more truly shameful behaviour than stripping off. "
Julie Burchill
More
Far
Up
" Make no mistake, most women are well aware that they've never had it so good; when they enter a spa or salon, it is purely a hair/nails thing, a prelude to an evening of guilt-free fun. "
Julie Burchill
Evening
Fun
Good
" It is also interesting to note that the original supermodels are now making a comeback after being dismissed in the Nineties as being 'greedy' by a gaggle of male designers who lived like Sun Kings. "
Julie Burchill
Interesting
Sun
Comeback
" I just have a real problem with people who seek to portray fatness or thinness as moral concepts. "
Julie Burchill
Problem
Just
Moral
" I believe, literally, in the God of the Old Testament, whom I understand as the Lord of the Jews and the Protestants. I'm a Christian Zionist, as well as a Christian feminist and a Christian socialist. "
Julie Burchill
Christian
I Believe
Old
" There's something brave and touching about game girls of all ages keeping themselves smart in hard times - one thinks of those wonderful women during World War II drawing stocking seams in eyebrow pencil up the back of legs stained with gravy browning because nylons were so hard to get hold of. "
Julie Burchill
Women
Brave
Game
" Blakes Hotel in South Kensington was a particular favourite of mine during what I affectionately think of as my Restless Years. "
Julie Burchill
Years
Think
Restless
" But just think what a boring, bread-and-milk world this would be without the boastful. "
Julie Burchill
World
Without
Think
" Monarchists frequently declare that without the royal family, Britain would be 'nothing.' What a woeful lack of love for one's country such statements express. "
Julie Burchill
Royal
Country
Family
" My second husband believed I had such a fickle attitude to friendship that each Friday he would update the list of my 'Top Ten' friends in the manner of a Top Of The Pops chart countdown. "
Julie Burchill
Attitude
Friendship
Friends
" It's received wisdom that the English are uniquely child-unfriendly. "
Julie Burchill
Wisdom
English
Uniquely
" Gluttony and idleness are two of life's great joys, but they are not honourable. "
Julie Burchill
Two
Great
Gluttony
" When actresses jump on the anti-Iraq bandwagon, they often combine down-home momism with an ignorance of Islamist intent which is truly awesome. "
Julie Burchill
Awesome
Ignorance
Which
" No one knows 'men' as such, any more than anyone knows 'women,' and if they do generalise they're probably trying to hide their own ignorance. You might know one 'man,' yes, or even lots of individual 'men'. "
Julie Burchill
Women
You
Man
" From paying off friends' tax bills to rescuing stray dogs and stuffing £20 notes into the hands of homeless people, I can't get rid of my money fast enough. "
Julie Burchill
People
Money
Homeless
" Some say that Cusk has no sense of humour, but expecting giggles from this writer would be akin to expecting sonnets from Benny Hill. "
Julie Burchill
Hill
Humour
No Sense
" No matter how old and glorious the models, sad indeed is the woman who sees fashion as a means of self-expression rather than an agent of social control. "
Julie Burchill
Control
Fashion
Matter
" Being a monarchist, and fawning over those 'above' you, you must naturally despise those 'below' or on the same socioeconomic level as yourself, because that is how hierarchy worship works. "
Julie Burchill
Over
You
Yourself
" Is the raggle-taggle Brangelina tribe any more bogus than that of the landlocked yummy mummy who believes that she can drop half a dozen brats and still keep a modest carbon footprint? I don't think so. "
Julie Burchill
Tribe
Think
She
" I don't have a spiritual bone in my body; but what I am, is religious. "
Julie Burchill
Spiritual
Bone
I Am