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" Grade school ruined reading for me by demanding book reports for such snore-a-thons as Benjamin Franklin's biography written for children. "

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" I had a stage when I was 12 years old. I had a puppet show career. I wrote horror stories in camp, and all the parents called and complained. "

" Marriage equality is a hustler's feeding frenzy of gold-diggers. I campaigned for marriage equality in Maryland because I believe we should have the right to it, but I personally don't want to get married. I don't want to imitate the traditions of heterosexual people. I hate weddings: they make me uneasy. "

" Good actors, actually, in real life, are shy and very quiet people a lot of the time. "

" You have to think of a new way to make something new. And the biggest sin - you can never try too hard. You can never look like you're just trying to shock people, 'cause that's simple. But making people laugh is the hard part. "

" People looked at my early pictures and called them the most disgusting things ever, and now 'Hairspray' is being done at every school in Britain and America. "

" Do I like how digital films look? Sometimes, but sometimes it looks flat, and ugly. "

" I've been arrested several times. I've been known to dress in ludicrous fashions. I've also built a career out of negative reviews. "

" If you're a juvenile delinquent today, you're a hacker. You live in your parent's house; they haven't seen you for two months. They put food outside your door, and you're shutting down a government of a foreign country from your computer. "

" I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty. "

" Liberal censors are the worst. I don't remember any trouble with 'Serial Mom' or 'Cecil B. Demented' or any of them. Except 'Cry Baby.' "

" Always be prepared if someone asks you what you want for Christmas. Give brand names, the store that sells the merchandise, and, if possible, exact model numbers so they can't go wrong. Be the type who's impossible to buy for, so they have to get what you want. "

" What fashion has started from hackers? They have bad posture, and they don't go out. I wish I had a hacker boyfriend - they stay at home up in the bedroom. "

" Isn't that the most perverse thing you've ever heard? "

" I also hate those holidays that fall on a Monday where you don't get mail, those fake holidays like Columbus Day. What did Christopher Columbus do, discover America? If he hadn't, somebody else would have and we'd still be here. Big deal. "

" Always, European art cinema has been the most threatening and the grimmest and the most transgressive, I think. "

" My 40th birthday I held in an old-age home. My 50th I had at Pravda before it opened in New York. My 60th I had at Pastis. For my 70th, I thought, 'I don't need to have a celebrity party this year. I'm going to go take my oldest, closest friends to Paris.' "

" My early films look terrible! I didn't know what I was doing. I learned when I was doing it. I never went to film school. "

" I do take a one-week vacation every year, and I go to London in the fall. "

" Life is a rotten lottery. I've had a pretty amazing life, a good life, and God knows I'm thankful, but I do believe that after 30, stop whining! Everybody's dealt a hand, and it's not fair what you get. But you've got to deal with it. "

" I can make a movie for $5M, which used to be a routinely low, independent movie, but there's no such thing as that any more. "

" I like to cook for myself or others, so I cook. I always read at night. Sometimes I go to the movies. I don't go out wildly during the week. "

" I used to hitchhike a lot. I'd come home on the train from New York, and there'd be no cabs, but people would pick me right up and take me to my door because they recognised me. It was like a car service. I never really had a bad experience hitchhiking. "

" I remember when I first went to the Baltimore Museum of Art and I bought this little Moreau print in the gift shop. I took it home, and I was, like, 12 years old or something. "

" I don't trust anyone that hasn't been to jail at least once in their life. You should have been, or something's the matter with you. "

" The few movies I can even think of that I watch over and over would be the Elizabeth Taylor/Richard Burton movie 'Boom!', 'Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!', and 'Beyond the Valley of the Dolls.' I wouldn't call any of them mainstream. "

" The good guys in my movies mind their own business, and they don't judge other people. And the bad guys are jealous; they judge other people without knowing the whole story. They want all the attention, and they're mean spirited. "

" My mother's brother became the undersecretary of the interior for Nixon, which did cause a little drama in my family because I was going to riots and everything, but he turned out great and gave us a nice cheque for an AIDS benefit we had for the 'Serial Mom' premiere. "

" I always had a work ethic. And I think I very much got that from my father and my mother. "

" There are schools for weird children now. There wasn't when I was young. "

" 'Blood Feast' is my favorite of Lewis' films. When we shot 'Serial Mom,' and I showed them the infamous tongue scene, one of the female crew members said, 'I hate when a guy does that.' "