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" I can make a movie for $5M, which used to be a routinely low, independent movie, but there's no such thing as that any more. "

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" My 40th birthday I held in an old-age home. My 50th I had at Pravda before it opened in New York. My 60th I had at Pastis. For my 70th, I thought, 'I don't need to have a celebrity party this year. I'm going to go take my oldest, closest friends to Paris.' "

" I wrote about Herschell in my book 'Shock Value,' for which I interviewed him. We became friends; I had dinner with Herschell the last year before he died. He was elderly, but his mind was perfectly intact. "

" My dad saw 'A Dirty Shame.' I felt bad about my father knowing what 'felching' was. "

" I also hate those holidays that fall on a Monday where you don't get mail, those fake holidays like Columbus Day. What did Christopher Columbus do, discover America? If he hadn't, somebody else would have and we'd still be here. Big deal. "

" I want to be commercial. I'm never the person who says, 'I don't care if people don't see my movies.' I always want people to see my movies. "

" At my age, you can go either fat or gaunt. I've gone gaunt. "

" I'd be arrested if I still smoked because I'm the one who would be changing the battery in the airplane in the lavatory to take out the smoke detector. I would've been those people they warn you against. "

" I read, every day, the 'Wall Street Journal''s editorials because I like to think how my smart enemy thinks. "

" I don't like rules of any kind. And I seek people who break rules with happiness - and not bringing pain to themselves. "

" Around '62 in Baltimore, all the girls had those big hairdos. And then suddenly, a few of the really hip ones started doing their hair straight. And people panicked. And it was called going 'Joe,' meaning Joe College. And people would say, 'I don't know. Should I be 'Joe'? I can't decide.' "

" I wish something on T.V. would trouble me. Then maybe I would watch it. "

" I don't believe that we should never not talk to people we don't agree with politically. If you can make that person laugh, it's the first step to getting him to listen to change their mind. "

" Without obsession, life is nothing. "

" The rudest possible gift is a gift card. It means you think the person is stupid and has no interests. The only good gift card is Bitcoin. You practically have to be a hacker to know about it. "

" By wrecking something, it's always reinventing. All modern movements in art and music wrecked what came before, in a way - and surprised the cooler generation that was one step ahead. That's how you get ahead. "

" Life is a rotten lottery. I've had a pretty amazing life, a good life, and God knows I'm thankful, but I do believe that after 30, stop whining! Everybody's dealt a hand, and it's not fair what you get. But you've got to deal with it. "

" I'm sick of '60s nostalgia. I've been to clubs in New York where it's just like the Fillmore East. And I thought I hated that then. "

" When I was young, there were bars called the 'Hungry Hole,' and in those same neighbourhoods are now gay people pushing baby carriages. "

" People looked at my early pictures and called them the most disgusting things ever, and now 'Hairspray' is being done at every school in Britain and America. "

" Isn't that the most perverse thing you've ever heard? "

" I don't trust anyone that hasn't been to jail at least once in their life. You should have been, or something's the matter with you. "

" Being a traditionalist, I'm a rabid sucker for Christmas. In July, I'm already worried that there are only 146 shopping days left. "

" I've taught in prison; I've counseled people... I've been arrested; I've been to the psychiatrist. "

" My early films look terrible! I didn't know what I was doing. I learned when I was doing it. I never went to film school. "

" For a meal out, my number one restaurant is Peter's Inn. I first went there when it was an old biker bar. Believe me, when it was Motorcycle Pete's, that was fun. I had my 30th birthday there. "

" I didn't follow anybody's advice, really. "

" Everyone's sex life is funny except your own. Every person's is, and yours never is. "

" On airplanes, strangers confide in me the most deepest, darkest secrets. And I think they think I'll understand. And I generally do understand. "

" If you're a juvenile delinquent today, you're a hacker. You live in your parent's house; they haven't seen you for two months. They put food outside your door, and you're shutting down a government of a foreign country from your computer. "

" Putting out compilation records, buying the right to music is incredibly complicated. You have to find the writer of the song and the publisher of the song - not the singer - and make two separate deals. "