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" He was the sort of person who stood on mountaintops during thunderstorms in wet copper armour shouting 'All the Gods are bastards.' "

Terry Pratchett

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" You can't build a plot out of jokes. You need tragic relief. And you need to let people know that when a lot of frightened people are running around with edged weaponry, there are deaths. Stupid deaths, usually. I'm not writing 'The A-Team' - if there's a fight going on, people will get hurt. Not letting this happen would be a betrayal. "

Terry Pratchett

" I've got wide tastes, but I don't like jazz. "

Terry Pratchett

" I've always felt that what I have going for me is not my imagination, because everyone has an imagination. What I have is a relentlessly controlled imagination. What looks like wild invention is actually quite carefully calculated. "

Terry Pratchett

" I think perhaps the most important problem is that we are trying to understand the fundamental workings of the universe via a language devised for telling one another when the best fruit is. "

Terry Pratchett

" This isn't life in the fast lane, it's life in the oncoming traffic. "

Terry Pratchett

" I have a living will and I have friends, and I have money and I have hope. "

Terry Pratchett

" Mum had done everything you need to educate a kid. She made me a kid who likes books and she told me about 'Wind in the Willows' and read it and I thought this is weird, Rat, Mole, Toad and my first ever Bolshie thought - you know about 'The Wind in the Willows.' "

Terry Pratchett

" My advice is this. For Christ's sake, don't write a book that is suitable for a kid of 12 years old, because the kids who read who are 12 years old are reading books for adults. I read all of the James Bond books when I was about 11, which was approximately the right time to read James Bond books. "

Terry Pratchett

" It's not morbid to talk about death. Most people don't worry about death, they worry about a bad death. "

Terry Pratchett

" Nothing I can say or devise, and nothing anybody else can say or devise, is going to be perfect. "

Terry Pratchett

" It seems that when you have cancer you are a brave battler against the disease, but when you have Alzheimer's you are an old fart. That's how people see you. It makes you feel quite alone. "

Terry Pratchett

" There is a soak-the-rich attitude in the air, a feeling that if you have a lot of money you must have got it by some ghastly means. I can quite happily say there was never any family money. All the money we got was mine, just from writing books. "

Terry Pratchett

" 'Educational' refers to the process, not the object. Although, come to think of it, some of my teachers could easily have been replaced by a cheeseburger. "

Terry Pratchett

" I think when people mean that Discworld books have become darker they really mean the series is growing up. In 'The Colour of Magic' most of the city is set alight. It's a joke, in much the same way that the Earth is destroyed almost at the start of Douglas Adams's 'The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.' "

Terry Pratchett

" I was a very keen reader of science fiction, and during the time I was going to libraries, it was good, written by people who knew their science. "

Terry Pratchett

" That's the most terrible thing about being an author - standing there at your mother's funeral, but you don't switch the author off. So your own innermost thoughts are grist for the mill. Who was it said - one of the famous lady novelists - 'unhappy is the family that contains an author'? "

Terry Pratchett

" There was once a caustic comment from someone suggesting I was breeding a new race. Fans from different countries have married, amazing things like that. I've been to some of the weddings. I went to one here the other day, a pagan ceremony. "

Terry Pratchett

" Journalism makes you think fast. You have to speak to people in all walks of life. Especially local journalism. "

Terry Pratchett

" Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. "

Terry Pratchett

" The 'New Testament', now, I quite liked. Jesus had a lot of good things to say, and as for his father, he must have been highly thought of by the community to work with wood - a material that couldn't have been widely available in Palestine. "

Terry Pratchett

" Plot exposition that can be gently wound out by the authorial voice and internal monologue of a character in the length of a page has to be delivered in a matter of seconds on the stage. "

Terry Pratchett

" I don't think about the end game. I've got lots to occupy my mind. It's the rage that keeps me going. "

Terry Pratchett

" In my heart, I'm just a kid from the council houses. I can remember the old cottage and my dad coming round with the tin bath. I'm not a rich man. "

Terry Pratchett

" I think the best thing I ever did with my life was stand up and say I've got Alzheimer's. "

Terry Pratchett

" I particularly admire are Mark Twain and Jerome K. Jerome who wrote in a certain tone of voice which was humane and understanding of humanity, but always ready to annotate its little foibles. I think I'd lay my cards down on that, and say that it's that that I'm trying to do. "

Terry Pratchett

" Siren voices tell me, 'You don't have to keep going on.' And then you think, 'I'm a writer. What do I do? Sit there watching my wife clean up?' I don't know. I like being a writer. "

Terry Pratchett

" I'm glad a genre writer has got a knighthood, but stunned that it was me. "

Terry Pratchett

" Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it. "

Terry Pratchett

" The pen is mightier than the sword if the sword is very short, and the pen is very sharp. "

Terry Pratchett

" My own books drive themselves. I know roughly where a book is going to end, but essentially the story develops under my fingers. It's just a matter of joining the dots. "

Terry Pratchett