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" I think the best thing I ever did with my life was stand up and say I've got Alzheimer's. "

Terry Pratchett

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" I do not, in fact, use many puns. Certainly there are far fewer than people believe. But I suspect the ones I do occasionally use tend to hang around in people's memories for a while. "

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" I think it does Discworld good if I don't write about it all the time: sometimes you have to get it out of your system. "

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" I'm a fantasy writer, called a fantasy writer. But there's very little, apart from one or two basic concepts in 'I Shall Wear Midnight,' which are in fact fantasy. You have sticks that fly, but they're practical broomsticks, with a bloody great strap that you can hold on to so you don't fall off. And you try not to use them too often. "

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" The intelligence of the creature known as a crowd, is the square root of the number of people in it. "

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" Eight years involved with the nuclear industry have taught me that when nothing can possible go wrong and every avenue has been covered, then is the time to buy a house on the next continent. "

Terry Pratchett

" There was once a caustic comment from someone suggesting I was breeding a new race. Fans from different countries have married, amazing things like that. I've been to some of the weddings. I went to one here the other day, a pagan ceremony. "

Terry Pratchett

" Personally, I think the best motto for an educational establishment is: 'Or Would You Rather Be a Mule?' "

Terry Pratchett

" I mean, I wouldn't pay more than a couple of quid to see me, and I'm me. "

Terry Pratchett

" I think I would like to go into modelling. Of course, I don't know how to do it, and wouldn't be any good at it if I did, so I'm going to employ someone to walk the catwalks on my behalf. It would still be me, of course. "

Terry Pratchett

" I'm glad a genre writer has got a knighthood, but stunned that it was me. "

Terry Pratchett

" Plot exposition that can be gently wound out by the authorial voice and internal monologue of a character in the length of a page has to be delivered in a matter of seconds on the stage. "

Terry Pratchett

" As far as I'm concerned, I'm a writer who's writing books, and therefore, I don't want to die. You'd miss the end of the book wouldn't you? You can't die with an unfinished book. "

Terry Pratchett

" I know three people who have got better after a brain tumour. I haven't heard of anyone who's got better from Alzheimer's. "

Terry Pratchett

" Money is an unavoidable consequence, but it isn't the reason I write; if it was, I wouldn't have written any of the YA books, because advances in that field are small compared to what I'd got now for an 'adult' DW. "

Terry Pratchett

" Taxation is just a sophisticated way of demanding money with menaces. "

Terry Pratchett

" I think we are waiting for an e-book that even non-techies can be comfortable with. From my point of view, the biggest change is that I don't have to spend most of the day printing out and packaging a manuscript. I think I almost miss that. "

Terry Pratchett

" When you read, I'm sure you don't realize that your eyes are going backwards and forwards and to this place and that place. Mine don't do that. "

Terry Pratchett

" You have to have really wide reading habits and pay attention to the news and just everything that's going on in the world: you need to. If you get this right, then the writing is a piece of cake. "

Terry Pratchett

" There are things around, and I know where they can be got quite easily, but I quite like waking up to the sunshine. "

Terry Pratchett

" I can no longer type, so I use TalkingPoint and Dragon Dictate. It's a speech-to-text program, and there's an add-on for talking which some guys came up with. "

Terry Pratchett

" It's useful to go out of this world and see it from the perspective of another one. "

Terry Pratchett

" Truthfully, without over-egging it, as I often do, the library and journalism, those things made me who I am. "

Terry Pratchett

" I didn't go to university. Didn't even finish A-levels. But I have sympathy for those who did. "

Terry Pratchett

" This isn't life in the fast lane, it's life in the oncoming traffic. "

Terry Pratchett

" In my heart, I'm just a kid from the council houses. I can remember the old cottage and my dad coming round with the tin bath. I'm not a rich man. "

Terry Pratchett

" Nothing I can say or devise, and nothing anybody else can say or devise, is going to be perfect. "

Terry Pratchett

" I think perhaps the most important problem is that we are trying to understand the fundamental workings of the universe via a language devised for telling one another when the best fruit is. "

Terry Pratchett

" I don't think about the end game. I've got lots to occupy my mind. It's the rage that keeps me going. "

Terry Pratchett

" Freedom without limits is just a word. "

Terry Pratchett

" The bravest person I've ever met was a young boy going through massive amounts of treatment for a very rare, complex and unpleasant disease. I last saw him at a Discworld convention, where he chose to take part in a game as an assassin. He died not long afterwards, and I wish I had his fortitude and sense of style. "

Terry Pratchett