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" Hillary Clinton could say she was a woman and running for president. And Sarah Palin could say she was a woman and running for vice-president. But Obama couldn't say, 'I'm black and I'm running for president.' It couldn't come out of his mouth. He couldn't say that because, if he did, he'd lose votes. "

Paul Mooney

Black

Woman

She

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" People don't want to hear the truth; they never do. They wanna live in some kind of fantasy. "

" White people are very good at acting like they're not racist. They deserve an Academy Award for that. "

" Tennessee Williams knew about the South, but he would clean it up and lie about it. "

Paul Mooney

Lie

Tennessee

" I have nothing to do with racism in America; it was here when I got here. "

" If your hair is relaxed, white people are relaxed. If your hair is nappy, they're not happy. "

" Sometimes, what you do you have no control over because it's predestined. It's gonna happen in spite of you. There's nothing you can do about it. "

" There's always a message in my comedy. "

" Whatever that thing is that white people like in blacks, I don't have it. Maybe it's my arrogance or my self-assurance or the way I carry myself, but whatever it is, I don't have it. "

" When I was 16 or 17, I saw Lenny Bruce being taken to jail. They took him off stage because he talked about race. "

" When you know who you are, you know who you are. That's the real dangerous thing in Hollywood, because they all want to create you and mold you. "

" What does it mean to be too black for Hollywood? It's self-explanatory. Hollywood has certain kinds of blacks that they like. "

Paul Mooney

Kinds

Too

" I'm as American as apple pie. "

" You know who you are. If my mother is a nun and someone comes up to me and they go, 'Your mother is a prostitute.' It is not going to bother me, because I know my mother is a nun, she's not a prostitute. "

Paul Mooney

Know

You

" People ask me, when was my best time? I always say, 'Today.' "

Paul Mooney

Say

Today

" I've never seen anyone more messed up over success than Richard Pryor. For him, it's a constant battle between success in the white world and keeping it real for his black self. "

" Hollywood doesn't even have respect for itself. Hollywood lies to itself. "

" I have such an ego 'cause I'm a double Leo. I can't let go of me, you know, so it's very difficult for me to be somebody else and not me. I'm so into me. "

" America has a rap sheet. You can't police the world and tell the world how to act when you're just as bad yourself. "

" You white folks see UFOs in your dreams. You don't hear about Martians in Harlem. "

" I'm like the Davy Crockett of comedy... after Davy Crockett opened up the West and helped everybody... they didn't need him anymore. I freed a lot of comics... if I never would have done comedy, it would've been a different art form... I'm sure of it. "

" I can't change the past, but one person can change the future - anything can happen. "

" Robin Williams learned technique. He has the technique of being funny. "

Paul Mooney

Funny

Learned

" I am very concerned about Barbara Streisand using the 'H' word - 'honkey.' That's what I am concerned about. I am worried about Barbara. "

Paul Mooney

About

Concerned

" America is racial. America was founded on race. Race is America. The code name for America is 'race.' "

" Listen, we've got one little ol' black president, and white folks are upset, but they've had 43. "

" If you're happy with what you're doing, then you don't get bored. "

" I don't want affirmative action - too much affirmative, not enough action. "

" I got my sense of humor from my grandmother. You know, my grandmother was very funny. "

" I like when people are trapped in the joke, when there's no escape. I like to lead people down the wrong path and then trap them. "

Paul Mooney

People

Down

" I love Obama because he is proof all black people don't look alike. Nobody every told me, 'Good morning, Mr. President.' We don't all look alike. "

Paul Mooney

Morning

Love