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" How many people do you know who have thrown up on the Scrambler or a carnival ride? A lot of people, is the answer. "

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" I think the thing I had to be careful about while writing a book was not to say anything that was revealing about other people that they would be uncomfortable with. I didn't want to make people angry - that's a real risk. "

" When I was in college, I wanted to write for 'Late Night With Conan O'Brien,' and I was an intern there. "

" It's interesting how sleepwalking in a certain way becomes an accumulation of your outside stimuli that's actually there and what's happening in your brain. "

" Comedy is tragedy plus time, but the time is different for everybody. "

" I feel that marriage can lead to the ultimate rejection and failure and divorce and things we all fear. "

" In real life, I first started sleep walking in high school because that was when this concept of getting into college first appeared. I had this moment of, 'Oh! This is going to affect the rest of my life.' "

" What I always studied in screenwriting from my mentor John Glavin was that the most interesting characters are characters with shades of gray. "

" As a comedian, you want people to like you. That's part of why you're there in the first place: You have this unquenchable need to be liked, and then when you divert from that and take a chance at doing something that has moments of fierce unlikeability, you can hit some real low points. "

" Backup dancers are completely respectable. They're the studio musicians of dance. "

" I'm going to end up making twenty films if people let me. "

" The one thing you're most reluctant to tell. That's where the comedy is. "

" Over the years, I managed to develop this comedy career, went from opening act to headliner at comedy clubs, to playing concert halls, and had an off-Broadway show with 'Sleepwalk With Me.' "

" Louis C.K. directs his show, which is very much like a series of short films. "

" I'd much rather try and fail than talk about trying. "

" My dad goes through war novels like I go through boxes of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. "

" Nothing that you want ever is what you think it is. "

" You don't really see sleepwalking in films that often. It's weird; I feel like in popular culture we have the perception of sitcom, arms-in-front-of-your-body sleepwalking, and then maybe Olive Oil and Popeye when she sleepwalks through the construction site. But it's all very cartoonish, in some cases literally. "

" I sometimes think of not doing Twitter or Facebook anymore, but that's how people find their favorite bands and comedians. "

" I love Jimmy Fallon and Jimmy Kimmel. "

" Essentially, retweets are like laughs. "

" Ultimately, jokes are this really special thing that we can all share. It's exciting to have basically a thousand people in a room together that can laugh at the same time, but I think of it almost as, like, a religious experience. "

" Directing a movie is a little bit like being back in student government and putting on the homecoming dance. You're like, 'You put up the streamers, and you hire the DJ, and you get the punch bowl.' Some people are just like, 'This dance sucks.' And you're like, 'No no, this dance is awesome!' You have to be really positive. "

" When I was starting out, I thought I would go into comedy and there would be a mentor, like the Philip Seymour Hoffman character in 'Almost Famous,' in my life, and there just wasn't. It was really frustrating for me because I desired that so much. "

" Once you know how to make a movie, you can't not make a movie. "

" I have a following, but it's small. I have this level of fame where people spot me in the airport, consistently, but they always think they're the only one who ever has. People will think they win a prize when they recognize me. "

" Every comedian comes to a fork in the road where they have to decide if they're going to make jokes about other people or make jokes about themselves. I chose myself. "

" I've read that Steven Wright's style was born out of genuine nervousness. "

" I like 'Donnie Darko;' it's a cool take on dreams and sleep. "

" Someone gave me a piece of advice once, my first manager Lucien Hold. He said, 'If you do stand-up about your own life, no one can steal it.' I always thought that was the best piece of advice. "

" I love pizza. I want to marry it, but it would just be to eat her family at the wedding. "