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" I have a following, but it's small. I have this level of fame where people spot me in the airport, consistently, but they always think they're the only one who ever has. People will think they win a prize when they recognize me. "

Mike Birbiglia

Small

People

Airport

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Mike Birbiglia

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" I'm a comedian, and the other comedians are played by comedians, the same way that in 'Once' there are the musicians that hang out together. "

" Comedy unites, it doesn't divide! "

" It sounds so nerdy and pathetic, but what I always do on Sunday afternoon is bring my inbox down to zero, which is so sad. But e-mail has become like homework for adults. I'll have 141 messages from people who will be offended if I don't write back. "

" I'm unable to do the thing that Broadway actors do in plays, sometimes for years. The same exact blocking, the same exact lines. I'm a little bit uncomfortable with that. Every night I'm looking for ways to try something else. "

" My dad goes through war novels like I go through boxes of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. "

Mike Birbiglia

War

Through

" I find my fans are really funny people. Most comedians can't say that about their fans. "

" I'm going to end up making twenty films if people let me. "

" The way I view comedy clubs is, people are drinking, they're ordering food, they're out for the night, and there's also a person onstage talking. And with the theater, they came to the theater, and they're waiting to hear what you say. So you'd better have something to say. "

" Fortunately, I don't talk about politics on stage. "

" Directing a movie is a little bit like being back in student government and putting on the homecoming dance. You're like, 'You put up the streamers, and you hire the DJ, and you get the punch bowl.' Some people are just like, 'This dance sucks.' And you're like, 'No no, this dance is awesome!' You have to be really positive. "

" How many people do you know who have thrown up on the Scrambler or a carnival ride? A lot of people, is the answer. "

Mike Birbiglia

Ride

People

" I drank the Kool-Aid of being a network star. Once it didn't happen, I realized it wasn't the best version of my comedy. "

" When I met my wife, I was a working comic, so the first week we went out, she saw me perform, and it was very clear what I do. "

Mike Birbiglia

Week

Wife

" You know the expression, 'You're only as sick as your secrets?' I believe that, and I think I try to have my work live by that to a degree. "

" You get to the end of something, you're laughing, you're like, 'That's funny, and that's funny,' and then you get to the end, and the credits come down, and you're like, 'That's it?! That's the whole thing?! You had me here for that?!' I just don't want to do that. "

Mike Birbiglia

Want

You

" The Hollywood model is to develop scripts for 10 years, sell them, transfer them, attach this actor, then attach a director. This isn't what I'm about. I'm much more of a creator and a doer. "

" I think the thing I had to be careful about while writing a book was not to say anything that was revealing about other people that they would be uncomfortable with. I didn't want to make people angry - that's a real risk. "

" I love pizza. I want to marry it, but it would just be to eat her family at the wedding. "

" I got out of school in 2000, and I always wanted to be on 'This American Life,' since I first started telling stories. And that, I mean, that show is a little bit of a fortress. It's really hard to get stuff on that show. "

" When you're in high school, you can't even imagine the concept of what the rest of your life even means. "

" Sometimes people say, 'You're the best at digressions.' And that's actually a real compliment to me. "

" I've yet to write a stand-up show that isn't autobiographical. "

" What I always studied in screenwriting from my mentor John Glavin was that the most interesting characters are characters with shades of gray. "

" I've read that Steven Wright's style was born out of genuine nervousness. "

" Dopamine is a chemical released in your brain and your body when you sleep that paralyzes your body so you don't act out your dreams. "

" Everything about starting out in comedy is pride-swallowing, from handing out fliers to bombing in front of audiences. "

" I always live tweet 'SNL.' "

Mike Birbiglia

Live

SNL

" Louis C.K. directs his show, which is very much like a series of short films. "