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" How to do half-hour comedy innovatively is something I do pride myself on. We invented it with 'I Love Lucy.' "

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" I don't know how to tell a joke. I never tell jokes. I can tell stories that happened to me... anecdotes. But never a joke. "

" I dyed my hair this crazy red to bid for attention. It has become a trademark, and I've got to keep it this way. "

" Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead. "

" I'd rather regret the things I've done than regret the things I haven't done. "

" How I Love Lucy was born? We decided that instead of divorce lawyers profiting from our mistakes, we'd profit from them. "

" I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line. "

" If you want something done, ask a busy person to do it. The more things you do, the more you can do. "

" You spell Bob Hope C-L-A-S-S. "

" Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world. "

" Use a make-up table with everything close at hand and don't rush; otherwise you'll look like a patchwork quilt. "

" I've seen 'Mork & Mindy' a couple times. Robin Williams amazes me. And I love Gary Coleman. He puts me away. He puts everybody away. "

" Luck? I don't know anything about luck. I've never banked on it and I'm afraid of people who do. Luck to me is something else: Hard work - and realizing what is opportunity and what isn't. "

" I am a real ham. I love an audience. I work better with an audience. I am dead, in fact, without one. "

" I'm not funny. What I am is brave. "

" I wanted to get out of the pictures and stay home so that I could have children. "

" You see much more of your children once they leave home. "

" I'm happy that I have brought laughter because I have been shown by many the value of it in so many lives, in so many ways. "

" I'm sometimes scared of everything that has happened to us. We didn't think Desilu Productions would grow so big. We merely wanted to be together and have two children. "

" TV started for me just as a means of keeping my husband Desi off the road. He'd been on tour with his band since he got out of the Army, and we were in our 11th year of marriage and wanted to have children. "

" I hate failure and that divorce was a Number One failure in my eyes. It was the worst period of my life. Neither Desi nor I have been the same since, physically or mentally. "

" I will never do another TV series. It couldn't top I Love Lucy, and I'd be foolish to try. In this business, you have to know when to get off. "

" In life, all good things come hard, but wisdom is the hardest to come by. "

" The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. "

" The more things you do, the more you can do. "

" I don't think you should write a book until you tell the absolute truth. You can't do that until you're 85, and I don't want to live that long. I've always prided myself on knowing when to get off, and I hope it works out that way. "

" I think knowing what you cannot do is more important than knowing what you can. "

" Women's Lib? Oh, I'm afraid it doesn't interest me one bit. I've been so liberated it hurts. "

" Ability is of little account without opportunity. "

" I'm not sure that I want to be without some lack of confidence. If you are too sure of yourself, you don't grow. You may feel confident in some things, but other fields come up as a challenge. And if you don't anticipate trouble, you will be in trouble. "

" One of the things I learned the hard way was that it doesn't pay to get discouraged. Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself. "