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" I am a huge fan of 'Doctor Who.' "

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" The one good thing about our school was the Cadets; I chose to be in the Navy, purely for the sailor's outfit. A pity we had to give them back. "

" There's a sort of magic and music to comedy. Some words, some numbers even, are funnier than others. A Caramac bar, for instance, is funnier than a Milky Way. "

" Reality always outstrips fiction. Whatever you make up, something more incredible always pops up in real life. "

" I can't see why anyone would want to be in politics because you get so much criticism. "

" I don't know what I'll be like when I'm 60. I already have the traits of a retired gentleman. "

" It's a weird thing because I've been single at the time when I've been successful. That's good and bad. Good, because you meet lots of people, bad because your privacy is infringed, so it's harder to develop things. "

" I love telling stories. I love the intimacy between the writer and reader. When you write sketches it's over in two minutes. When you write a book the characters have to have a bit of emotional depth. "

" I've noticed that once you leave London you do kind of become a bit more famous. People in London are a bit too cool for school. It's not so unusual to see someone from London in the street. But outside of London people are a bit more excited to see you and come out and support you. "

" People think writing a children's book is something you could do in an afternoon but it's actually really hard. "

" I don't get recognized much, and am very happy with that. The fans I have met have all been delightful. "

" I have always liked shows that have laughter in them. "

" I know somebody from university who's called Phil Collins, and I think there's something terribly unfortunate about sharing a name with somebody who either is famous or becomes famous. "

" I was the kind of person who got bullied and loved the attention of it. "

" I'm not a political thinker, but I've just always thought of myself as a Labour supporter. I was a great fan of Tony Blair. He sent me a letter before I swam the Channel to wish me luck. "

" I love wearing drag. "

" The most used piece of kit in my kitchen is my saucepan. I use it every morning to cook my porridge in. The least used piece of equipment? I'd say a food mixer. I've never used it, I don't really know what they're for. "

" TV has lost a lot of its self-confidence as its power has been eroded by the internet. "

Self-Confidence

" I've just swum the length of the Thames. I feel quite tired. "

" We sort of expect to see men in women's clothes. It's part of our culture. The key thing is, it has to be done quite badly. "

" I'm terribly attention-seeking. It's very different once you get all this attention, though. Because then you want to control it. And you can't exactly. "

" All human life can be found in an airport. "

" There's something about being a comedian that means you have to not be scared of failing because failing is part of the process. "

" I just want to be happy, have kids, enjoy my life, help others and create some good work. "

" I had a very happy childhood, but I wasn't that happy a child. I liked being alone and creating characters and voices. I think that's when your creativity is developed, when you're young. I liked the world of the imagination because it was an easy place to go to. "

" It's easier not to make a particular joke in case it offends. But every joke will offend someone, and I've always believed that the audience is bigger than one person. The danger is that things will become bland. "

" I still enjoy my life, and I feel like I've achieved enough things that if I never did anything again, I'd feel confident that I'd still have made my mark in some way. But maybe the self-loathing bit is the element that makes you strive for more. Makes you strive to be better. "

" It's important when you're married not to forget those things you used to do when you were trying to get her to marry you. You can't send flowers and buy gifts then, when you're married, say, 'Right, get my tea on'. That doesn't go down well. So you've got to keep that level of interest going. "

" I was born in 1971, and Tom Baker was sort of my obsession as a kid and that's why we got him to do the voice over for 'Little Britain' because I was actually obsessed with Tom Baker. "

" I was depressed as a child. I found it hard to make friends. My favourite thing was locking myself in the bathroom and practising comedy routines. "

" I've done panel shows, which I enjoy, and on those you're recording half-an-hour of TV and sometimes they film for two hours. But with 'Britain's Got Talent,' you're on camera for eight hours, with a large theatre audience watching - and in between you're being filmed for ITV2 as you eat your lunch. "