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" I just want to be happy, have kids, enjoy my life, help others and create some good work. "

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" Social satire has been around since people have been around. "

" I don't think comedy is necessarily an attack. It's finding humour in life. I don't think if you're making a joke about something you're automatically demeaning it. "

" The one good thing about our school was the Cadets; I chose to be in the Navy, purely for the sailor's outfit. A pity we had to give them back. "

" It's easier not to make a particular joke in case it offends. But every joke will offend someone, and I've always believed that the audience is bigger than one person. The danger is that things will become bland. "

" The most used piece of kit in my kitchen is my saucepan. I use it every morning to cook my porridge in. The least used piece of equipment? I'd say a food mixer. I've never used it, I don't really know what they're for. "

" It's important when you're married not to forget those things you used to do when you were trying to get her to marry you. You can't send flowers and buy gifts then, when you're married, say, 'Right, get my tea on'. That doesn't go down well. So you've got to keep that level of interest going. "

" I've just swum the length of the Thames. I feel quite tired. "

" I still enjoy my life, and I feel like I've achieved enough things that if I never did anything again, I'd feel confident that I'd still have made my mark in some way. But maybe the self-loathing bit is the element that makes you strive for more. Makes you strive to be better. "

" I haven't traditionally been a family entertainer. "

" I don't have a fear factor. Well, not much of one. And I'm willing to risk quite a lot - as a comedian, you're always risking a lot. You're risking failure, especially if you're improvising and going on TV shows trying to make comedy out of thin air. That is quite a risky business. "

" I haven't put much effort into my personal life and blithely believe it will turn out all right in the end. "

" I was the kind of person who got bullied and loved the attention of it. "

" I was quite fat as a kid. And swimming is a sport you can enjoy whatever size you are. If you're fat, running is a pain. I'm not really built for running. "

" I love wearing drag. "

" We sit in a room for months trying to think of funny things. "

" It can be difficult to be subtle and not cartoony in prosthetics. But when you see characters like Bubbles and Desiree from 'Little Britain' on screen, it makes all the hard work worth it. It's such fun watching those transformations. "

" I used to have a silk dressing gown an uncle bought in Japan and when I came downstairs in it, my dad used to call me Davinia. There was never embarrassment about that kind of thing. My sister used to dress me up a lot. She thought I was a little doll. "

" TV has lost a lot of its self-confidence as its power has been eroded by the internet. "

Self-Confidence

" I've done panel shows, which I enjoy, and on those you're recording half-an-hour of TV and sometimes they film for two hours. But with 'Britain's Got Talent,' you're on camera for eight hours, with a large theatre audience watching - and in between you're being filmed for ITV2 as you eat your lunch. "

" When I want comfort food, I buy Maltesers. I like all chocolates, but especially those. You can eat them, and because they're so light, you can convince yourself that they are not actually that fattening. "

" Sometimes you meet people who can't swim. And I always think: 'Oh my God, that's extraordinary.' For me, it's always been a treat... I just feel really happy in the water. "

" I've noticed that once you leave London you do kind of become a bit more famous. People in London are a bit too cool for school. It's not so unusual to see someone from London in the street. But outside of London people are a bit more excited to see you and come out and support you. "

" I know somebody from university who's called Phil Collins, and I think there's something terribly unfortunate about sharing a name with somebody who either is famous or becomes famous. "

" When you are doing endurance swimming you just need to take in as many carbs as possible to put on as much weight as you can. Basically you can eat whatever you want, which can be quite fun. Everything is guilt-free. "

" I had a very happy childhood, but I wasn't that happy a child. I liked being alone and creating characters and voices. I think that's when your creativity is developed, when you're young. I liked the world of the imagination because it was an easy place to go to. "

" People think writing a children's book is something you could do in an afternoon but it's actually really hard. "

" There's something about being a comedian that means you have to not be scared of failing because failing is part of the process. "

" I'm not a political thinker, but I've just always thought of myself as a Labour supporter. I was a great fan of Tony Blair. He sent me a letter before I swam the Channel to wish me luck. "

" We sort of expect to see men in women's clothes. It's part of our culture. The key thing is, it has to be done quite badly. "