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" I believe you are your work. Don't trade the stuff of your life, time, for nothing more than dollars. That's a rotten bargain. "

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" We animals live life in all its glorious uncertainty. Why do politicians think they can control events? "

" Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment. "

" I believe the true function of age is memory. I'm recording as fast as I can. "

" Divorce is the one human tragedy that reduces everything to cash. "

" I believe in a lively disrespect for most forms of authority. "

" The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you. "

" There hasn't been a day in my life since I started Latin in ninth grade that I haven't benefited by the lives of the ancients. "

" Not until my middle thirties did I consider myself a novelist. "

" The only queer people are those who don't love anybody. "

" You can't be truly rude until you understand good manners. "

" Cats and dogs believe politicians are like cemetery caregivers; they are on top of everyone, but nobody listens. "

" Intuition is a suspension of logic due to impatience. "

" Life is too short to be miserable. "

Life Is Too Short

" Moral passion without entertainment is propaganda, and entertainment without moral passion is television. "

" If you like my novels, I commend your good taste. "

" Women who love women are Lesbians. Men, because they can only think of women in sexual terms, define Lesbian as sex between women. "

" Every action is either strong or weak, and when every action is strong we are successful. "

" If you don't like my book, write your own. If you don't think you can write a novel, that ought to tell you something. If you think you can, do. No excuses. If you still don't like my novels, find a book you do like. "

" Morals are private. Decency is public. "

" Normal is the average of deviance. "

" Hollywood called just as I crested thirty. My novels did not and still do not interest them, but my writing ability did. "

" One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory. "

" I earned two Emmy nominations for writing, and two of the shows I had written were nominated for best in their category. "

" The reward for conformity is that everyone likes you but yourself. "

" As a woman, I find it very embarrassing to be in a meeting and realize I'm the only one in the room with balls. "

" Humor comes from self-confidence. "

Self-Confidence

" Virginia Woolf said that writers must be androgynous. I'll go a step further. You must be bisexual. "

" I've met many irresponsible people in my life but never an irresponsible cat. "

" Leroy bet me I couldn't find a pot of gold at the end, and I told him that was a stupid bet because the rainbow was enough. "

" If the world were a logical place, men would ride side saddle. "